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Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantages of this technology outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #events #technology
Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of
this
 technology outweigh the
disadvantages
? In
this
 day and age, the developments of technology on social media give a pool of opportunities for individuals to communicate with each other easily and get information about the changes worldwide.Its advantages overlap more than
disadvantages
 and I firmly agree with
this
 topic by stating my perspectives. It is considerably convenient to socialize and take news involving the changes in the local areas and the world. To be more specific , it is reasonably cheap and affordable for individuals to talk to their family members,relatives and friends on social apps
such
 as Telegram,Instagram and Facebook wherever they are or whenever they want.
Furthermore
, modern technologies are considered crucial factors in sharing and accepting the news
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 the chance to become an online member of international events
such
 as festivals, concerts etc for just a monthly fee.
For instance
, somebody who is in a different place from being concert can access virtually
due to
 a pen pal for participants attending the concert .
However
, there are several
disadvantages
 that social apps may useless tools for humans. Browsing on telegram for some social purposes can cause children to become addicted the social networks.
As a result
, their study rate may decrease in a sensible way.
To sum up
, social media has a number of effects on human life to
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 time with each other and
exchange
Wrong verb form
exchanging
show examples
 information in daily life even though there are some
disadvantages
 for people.
Submitted by nazirovmuhammad71 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clarity in presenting the ideas and examples. The use of evidence and specific examples is insufficient to support the arguments effectively. The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and clearly related to the main topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt, but the arguments and examples provided are not fully clear and comprehensive. More specifics and relevant examples are needed to illustrate the points effectively. The response should be more complete and include a balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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