In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, it is increasingly prevalent for rural

people

Use synonyms

to seek a job in the

city

Use synonyms

, which causes a decline in the countryside population. In my view, I think

this

Linking Words

is a positive development because

this

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phenomenon can bring many merits. On the one hand, I cannot deny that rural population loss may cause many problems.

Firstly

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, a predominant issue is the shortage of labour in the rural areas.

This

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is mainly because most young

people

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leave their hometowns and acquire a job in the metropolis

city

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where they can meet more job opportunities.

Secondly

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, it is common for countryside individuals to work alone in a

city

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, so there are many rural children who find it difficult to accompany their parents throughout the year.

This

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may influence the psychological health of these kids.

However

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, reaching the above conclusion does not necessarily mean that the advantages of urbanization can be ignored. For one thing, urbanization is an effective method to improve productivity and economic efficiency, which means a country can utilize less revenue to manufacture more products. For another thing,

people

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working in the downtown can

also

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improve the environment in the countryside, which will attract more citizens to travel there and bring prosperity to there. Take China,

for example

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, with the environmental improvement in rural areas, more

city

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residentiaries choose to go there to have a meal or get accommodation at weekends, which assists with villages' development and allures many postgraduates to come back to their hometowns. To summarize,

although

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rural

people

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moving to cities may cause some problems, I still believe

this

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phenomenon is a positive development considering its economic and environmental benefits.

1278948168Wed Nov 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a consistent and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to enhance clarity.

task achievement

Aim for a complete response to the task with a clear position throughout the essay. While the position is clear, some expansion on specific examples and a more detailed exploration of the ideas could enhance the response.

lexical resource

Employ a broader range of vocabulary suited to the topic. Avoid overusing certain words and phrases, and try to incorporate more sophisticated expressions where appropriate.

grammatical range

Strive to use a variety of complex sentence structures while maintaining accuracy. This will demonstrate greater control of grammar and enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future . Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The values we gain from our parents and family have more influence over our future success than any skills or knowledge learned in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that children should learn to design and make things in school. Others believe that there are better things to learn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems.