The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two maps illustrate the various
change
in Grange estate from its first opening in 1920 to the present.
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
Overall
, it is evident that the park has been re-arranged significantly and the playground is extended with many modern facilities Linking Words
such
as an amphitheatre, a children’s play area, … Linking Words
while
some buildings are destructed to elect another structure.
First of all, in 1920, there were 2 entrances for people to come in, which were located in the northern and southern of the Linking Words
garden
and still remain at the moment. Use synonyms
Besides
that, 1 of 2 rose gardens, which were built in the northwestern and southwestern of the forest, is destroyed and only one Linking Words
garden
remains in the northwestern ones. Use synonyms
Linking Words
While the
stage for musicians was rebuilt on a big scale and served as an amphitheatre for concerts.
Correct word choice
The
In addition
, there was a fountain put in the centre of the public estate in 1920 but Linking Words
this
figure is destructed and rebuilt as another huge rose Linking Words
garden
with many seats surrounded. Use synonyms
Therefore
, at the northeastern corner, a children’s play area and café Linking Words
are
built to replace the pond for water plants and another rose Wrong verb form
were
garden
in the past. Use synonyms
Finally
, there is the prominent water feature, which is substituted for the old glasshouse, is Linking Words
elected
next to the south entrance.
In conclusion, the playground has changed significantly since it first opened in 1920, many modern infrastructures Verb problem
apply
are
added to the park to broaden Wrong verb form
have been
the
scale, so it's easier to attract clients but Change the word
its
this
square still retains its uniqueness.Linking Words
Submitted by delulcheva on
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task response
The essay provides a partial response to the task, but there are areas that are not fully addressed. More specific details and comparisons from the maps are required to fully address the task.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has some structural issues and lacks coherence in presenting the information. The logical flow of ideas is disrupted, and there are some missing links between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, but there are inaccuracies and misuse of words throughout. A wider range of vocabulary and more precise use of words is needed to better convey the information.
grammatical range
There are notable grammatical errors in the essay, including tense inconsistencies, missing articles, and sentence structure issues. A more varied and accurate use of grammatical structures is necessary for better clarity and coherence.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.