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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Spending time online has affected the communication skills of young people both positively and negatively. Discuss the effects of increased online activity on communication skills.

#time #communication #skills #people #effects #activity
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The
communication
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skills
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 of
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation influenced
from
Change preposition
by
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 spending time online has positively and negatively. The following essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
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effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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positiviley
Correct your spelling
positively
 and negatively. On the one hand, the
communication
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skills
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 young
people
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Add a missing verb
are diffrent
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diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
with
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of
show examples
 older
people
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, that have many
different
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differences
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such
Linking Words
 as skill
communication
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 in daily activity or formal
communication
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public or
via
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apply
show examples
online. The positive
effect
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 for young
people
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 when they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
communication
Replace the word
communicate
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 online it is
more easy
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easier
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 because they learn more about the
skills
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 and how to be good with their
communication
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.
For example
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, when young
people
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played
Wrong verb form
play
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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online game,
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 should communicate with their friends in the game, so they should be able to understand about
communication
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 in the game and
also
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 the language can help them to more understand each other.
On the other hand
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, following the
statmen
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statistics
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay, the negative
effect
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 for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation
its
Correct your spelling
is
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,
Correct word choice
that they
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they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 attitude
for
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toward
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communication
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 in real
lifw
Correct your spelling
life
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 different, they
also
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 more focuses for their own
live
Replace the word
lives
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.
For example
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,
young
Add an article
the young
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 generation in real life in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don't respect other
people
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 beside them, they just focus on their activities and
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also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they
don' t
Correct your spelling
don't
 respect older
people
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such
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 as
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 older
people
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 beside them
,
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apply
show examples
 when the older
people
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 need their help.
They
Correct pronoun usage
Their
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 attitude it's not good when they communicate in real life. In conclusion, the
communication
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skills
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offor
Correct your spelling
offer
 young
people
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as a result
Linking Words
 of engaging in online communities and digital
platformsin
Correct your spelling
platforms in
platforms
 online haves
effect
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 positive and negative and when they come to real life it's more challenging.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure, presenting your arguments in a coherent manner and making use of cohesive devices effectively.
task achievement
Develop your main ideas fully to address the task prompt appropriately. Make sure to expand on how online activity affects communication skills with specific details and clear explanations.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your communication. Avoid unclear or ambiguous statements, and strive to express your ideas comprehensively.
task achievement
Provide relevant examples to support your points, ensuring that they are directly related to the topic and contribute to the argument you are making.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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