Some people say that the use of mobile phones should not be allowed in public places such as libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #places #libraries #shops #transport

With the popularity of mobile phones, their usage has become an integral part of our daily lives.

While

some people maintain that handsets should be prohibited in public places

such

as libraries, shops and public transportation. In my view,

this

statement needs to be nuanced and may not always be the most appropriate solution.

Firstly

, smartphones play a critical role as a safety tool, enabling individuals to maintain communication with their loved ones and providing access to emergency services in times of crisis. Banning them could put people in harm’s way.

Secondly

, handsets provide a means of entertainment and distraction from the monotony of daily life. In shops, they can serve as a source of information, allowing customers to research products and compare prices.

Similarly

, on public transport, smartphones can help passengers kill time during long journeys,

as well as

provide directions or assistance when they get lost.

Instead

, we could promote responsible usage of cell phones through education and awareness-raising initiatives.

For example

, libraries could post signs asking customers to respect others and use their handsets in designated areas. The shop could have a quiet zone section away from the main shopping area for individuals to use their phones.

Likewise

, public transport operators could provide quiet zones or compartments where mobile device usage is discouraged. In

this

way, we can strike a balance between granting people autonomy to use their smartphones

while

also

respecting others in shared environments. In conclusion,

while

I understand the concerns about mobile devices causing disturbance in open areas, I believe that a ban on mobile devices is not always the most practical solution.

Submitted by xiaoruoling7 on Wed Nov 08 2023

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task response

Ensure that the examples provided are directly related to the argument and emphasize the points more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

The overall logical structure is well-maintained. However, make sure that each paragraph flows seamlessly to enhance coherence.

lexical resource

Expand the range of vocabulary used to express ideas more clearly and precisely. Use a broader range of vocabulary to enrich the discussion.

grammatical range

Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and more accurate use of complex structures for a higher score. Vary your sentence structures to showcase a broader grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Distraction
Etiquette
Tranquility
Prohibit
Intrusive
Courtesy
Essential communication
Public decorum
Designated areas
Safety concerns
Noise pollution
Digital etiquette
Enforcement measures
Civic responsibility
Silent mode
Connectivity
Invasiveness
Social norms
Policy implementation
Moderation

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Some people say that the use of mobile phones should not be allowed in public places such as libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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