Some people spend a lot of money on weddings. Why do they do this? Do you think it is good to spend a lot of money on weddings?

Some

people

this

modern society tend to arrange a big party for their wedding. It might be because of their pride in society or they are influenced by a famous person or their

friends

. In my view, rather than employing their

money

for it, they can add it to their after-marriage savings. Social media is becoming a huge network that connects

people

around the world. Since

people

usually update their lives on it, their followers know what happened to them, including their wedding day. Some

people

want to impress their

friends

with a glamorous wedding ceremony because they think it is one of their pride and show their

friends

that they have a lot of

money

For instance

, a couple who live in Jakarta organised their wedding in Bali because they saw their friend had had a luxurious party in Bali and updated it on social media. Personally,

instead

of spending

money

for several days' ceremony only, which is not too much worth it, I prefer to save it for future family needs

such

as renting a home, buying appliances, or for children's savings. One of my

friends

had their wedding at the Office of Religious Affairs, which is free in Indonesia, with a little celebration at their home. She wants to press their wedding budget and use the

money

for leasing a home. As a part of civilization, some

people

want to show their existence,

for example

organising

Change preposition

by organising

show examples

a huge wedding ceremony which needs a lot of

money

. But, rather than that, we can utilise our

money

for our other goods.

Submitted by iftitakhulzakiyah on Wed Nov 08 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay clearly responds to the prompt and addresses all aspects of the task. Provide a more comprehensive response to the question, including a balanced evaluation of the benefits and drawbacks of spending a lot of money on weddings.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by using more cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs. Develop a stronger introduction and conclusion that effectively introduce and summarize the main points discussed in the essay.

lexical resource

Expand the range of vocabulary used, particularly by incorporating more formal and academic language. Consider using synonyms and idiomatic expressions to enhance lexical variety and precision.

grammatical range

Enhance the grammatical range by demonstrating more complex sentence structures, varied verb forms, and accurate use of punctuation. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the use of articles in English sentences.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people spend a lot of money on weddings. Why do they do this? Do you think it is good to spend a lot of money on weddings?

Fully explain your ideas

you are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. in your letter explain: why you cannot pay the rent; when you will pay the rent; how you will ensure you can pay your rent in the future.

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?