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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year.
#amount #money #children #charity #usa #year
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The pie chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
income
Use synonyms
 and returns on US
donations
Use synonyms
 to children in one period.
Overall
Linking Words
, a quick look
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 that revenues are slightly higher than expenditures, and food
donations
Use synonyms
 and program services dominate in every category. Based on the pie chart for revenue, the total
money
Use synonyms
 received by the charity is $53.5 million. The majority of
this
Linking Words
 funding
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 food
donations
Use synonyms
,
are
Correct pronoun usage
which are
show examples
 greater than any other source of
income
Use synonyms
 during
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
 period. The other results are
donations
Use synonyms
 to the community contributions, which
amount
Use synonyms
 to 10.4 % of the total, and program
income
Use synonyms
, which amounts to more little over 2.2 % of the total
amount
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, other sources of
income
Use synonyms
 give a small proportion of 0.4%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, investment
income
Use synonyms
 and government grants show a similar percentage of 0.2% in one year. Based on the data on the chart display,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
income
Change preposition
of income
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 from expenditures
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 a total
amount
Use synonyms
 of 53.2 million dollars, but
this
Linking Words
 is slightly lower than
money
Use synonyms
 from revenue. In a year, program services represent value of
money
Use synonyms
 more than 90%,
while
Linking Words
 contributions from fundraising, management and general activities are limited to the 1% to 3% range.
Submitted by llcassiophea on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, donations, money, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • donations
  • grants
  • fundraising events
  • expenditure
  • administration costs
  • program expenses
  • direct benefits
  • indirect benefits
  • underprivileged children
  • education
  • healthcare
  • shelter
  • nourishment
  • medical treatments
  • basic needs
  • financial sustainability
  • transparency
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