Today, many people do not know their neighboars in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Nowadays, there are many
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
about the connection in
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
. Typically, many citizens do not have any information about their
neighboars
Correct your spelling
neighbours
in urban areas.
This
problem is attributable to the lack of leisure
time
and the dependence
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
technology in
digital
Add an article
the digital
show examples
era but can be addressed by encouraging
people
attend to more public
activities
. The underlying root of the problem is almost always human busy
life
. Despite organising many outdoor
activities
,
people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
always doing their work without
regarding
Replace the word
regard
show examples
to playing. All
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
and no play can make
people
become dull.
This
situation stems from
people
having too little
time
for approaching
Change preposition
to approach
show examples
society.
As a result
,
this
can be an obstacle for
people
to improve their ability
of communicating
Replace the preposition
to communicate
show examples
and make
people
live a closed
life
. Another factor may be the increasing of
time use
Verb problem
the
show examples
internet
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
thesedays
Correct your spelling
the days
.
In other words
, today
people
tend to spend most
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sulfing
Correct your spelling
surfing
sulking
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
or living in
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
show examples
world rather than
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
out and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
friends in real
life
.
Consequently
,
people
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
many chances to learn about social knowledge. Take the Americans as an instance here, many
people
do not know about their
neighboars
Correct your spelling
neighbours
due to
spending all
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
on using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. Perhaps a solution to the problem of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less knowledge about human
surrounding
Replace the word
surroundings
show examples
is to be found in the form of encouraging
people
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
show examples
part in outdoor
activities
. The most effective approach is to organize a big meal which all
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
in
neighborhood
Add an article
the neighborhood
show examples
can have together at the weekend and create conversations to let them close to each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we can make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
room for the utilisation of using phone during
this
whole
time
as well to avoid the neglect.
This
situation can have a good influence on
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
in
Add an article
the neighborhood
show examples
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
.
Thus
it can be seen that the distance between
people
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
is
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
human busy
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and the
time
they spend on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Therefore
, it should have been demonstrated that urgent action needs to be taken in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
form of making outdoor
activities
more popular. It is a
goog
Correct your spelling
good
show examples
strategies
Change the noun form
strategy
show examples
to help
people
close
to
Correct pronoun usage
to it
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion. There is a lack of logical structure in the essay. There is no clear introduction and the conclusion is missing. The main points are not well supported and the supporting ideas are not well connected.
task achievement
The essay does not fully respond to the task. The ideas are not developed and the explanation is unclear. Examples are not relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: