IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

#overpopulation #areas #two #ones #governments #individuals
It has been observed that
overpopulation
Correct article usage
the overpopulation
show examples
 of urban areas has led to numerous problems.
This
 essay will explore the various factors that contribute to
this
 trend,followed by some possible solutions to address
this
 problem. A plausible interpretation
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 phenomenon is the economic development that has occurred in recent decades.As the economy flourishes,
people
 have access to a wide range of resources and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 quality
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 that they can select and acquire.To satisfy their desire,they often
born baby
Wrong verb form
give birth to babies
show examples
 without thinking.One significant reason is that
people
's
mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 changed from the past. As numerous the
gorvenment
Correct your spelling
government
 will give some allowance for those who born baby,various temptations are surrounding
people
.Everyone became restless,indulged in the excitement of taking the
gorvement
Correct your spelling
government
 allowance, and lost the calm and serene state of mind they used to have. Fortunately,there are some measures we can take to improve
this
 alarming situation. One of the possible solutions to
this
 problem is to change
people
's mindsets.They should not be constrained by the allowance.By doing so,they can avoid putting themselves in a situation where they have to waste more money by
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
caring
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
baby
Submitted by ggrunrunderr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. The introduction and conclusion are not well-presented. The main points are not sufficiently supported.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a logical structure and the introduction and conclusion need improvement.
lexical resource
The essay lacks a varied and appropriate use of vocabulary. It also lacks coherence due to the use of repetitive language.
grammatical range
The essay contains several grammatical errors and lacks variety in sentence structure. Punctuation and sentence construction need improvement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: