Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In
this
present day,
smartphones
are one of the most essential stuffs in daily life. The users of
smartphones
vary from youngsters to older generation,
however
, there Is
also
a group of smartphone holders coming from ages 5 to 12. I strongly believe it is a negative thing to let children have their
smartphones
with them for more than 10 hours a day. Analysing the effect of a short attention span caused by too much screen
time
and uncontrollable
content
that can be watched on a smartphone will prove
this
.
To begin
with, letting children spend more than 10 hours on their
smartphones
a day will cause them to have short attention spans.
For instance
, watching too many TikTok videos, which mostly are under three minutes long, affects children’s memory, allowing them to have short-term memory loss syndrome.
While
the adverse effects are obvious, most parents are not ready to limit their children’s screen
time
.
It is clear that
spending long hours on
smartphones
has a negative effect on children’s intelligence.
On the other hand
, giving access to
kids
to freely spend their
time
on
gadgets
without accompanying them can lead to uncontrollable
content
. Speaking of which, many
kids
watch
content
that is
not suitable for their age. There are
also
times that they play a game, or so they thought it was a game, but turns out to be a game from a gambling site,
for example
.
Hence
, the absence of the parents brings a fundamental issue on the uncontrollable contents that are enjoyed by the
kids
.
Therefore
, it is certain that spending too much
time
on
gadgets
leads to more adverse effects.
To conclude
, children between the ages of 5 to 12 should not be left alone with their
gadgets
for a long period of
time
since it causes slower development of their brains and allows them to access
content
that is
not made for their age.
Thus
, I believe the negative impacts are much greater than the positive impacts. After a thorough analysis of
this
matter, it is recommended that parents set a
time
limit for their
kids
in using
smartphones
, and set their
gadgets
into kid mode.
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task response
The essay adequately addresses the given topic and presents a clear opinion. However, some points lack thorough development and analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The points are supported with examples, but the connections between ideas could be strengthened for better coherence.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a mix of basic and more advanced vocabulary. There is a need to improve the use and range of vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
A range of grammatical structures is evident in the essay. However, attention to sentence structure complexity and accuracy is needed for a higher score in this criterion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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