In order to study effectively, it requires comfort, peace and time. So it is impossible for a student to combine learning and employment at the same time because one distracts the other. Is it realistic to combine them at the same time? Support your opinion with examples.
It is believed that
people
require comfortable moods peaceful places and optimum timing so they can deepen into
their academics effectively. At the same Change preposition
apply
time
, combining their studying and working might trigger a few detrimental effects as it will disturb the other. Personally, I believe people
can experience the combination of these two which might bring them more advantages and useful experiences while
the former statement will bring out their best in the academy only.
It is crucial to have a cosy place and an optimum amount of time
to deep into knowledge sufficiently. Not only does it relieve our minds while
studying, but it also
propels our self-cognitive ability and creativity. This
means an ideal study environment which allows learners to immerse themselves in the vast knowledge without any distractions derived from financial issues or work pressures. For example
, learners also
can get benefits from a plausible study environment where they can be more concentrated, helping them tackle the huge amount of knowledge as much as they can. It is rational to state that researching requests peace and time
.
On the other hand
, I do believe that the combination of these two can bring them more merits than shortages if they are aware of what they should and should not do. Apart from learning theoretical things and hypotheses from institutions, people
can engage themselves in practical occurrences. This
might help them to strengthen their skills by introducing what they have learned into reality but it does not mean that they have to completely sacrifice their study time
. Not to mention
that it assists them in managing their time
properly, and also
how to do well in social interaction. A piece of evidence is that folk who are working and studying at the same time
, are more financial
independent and get on well with Change the adjective
financially
people
as they obtain a few social skills throughout this
period by themselves. This
is considered an extremely appealing benefit as it aids them to get a greater chance of high career prospects after graduating or leaving school.
To sum up
, it is necessary for people
to put themselves in various situations of life where they can withdraw some practical experiences by themselves. Although
it is advantageous to do so, people
need to balance their time
to attend consistently in their academic journey to obtain the initial academic purpose that they are pursuing.Submitted by thinhatvypham127 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer organizational structure, with more defined paragraphs that have clear main ideas and supporting details. Consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea to be discussed, and ensure that each subsequent sentence provides support or elaboration on that topic.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened. The introduction should more clearly outline the key points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize these points and relate them back to the question prompt, providing a definitive stance.
coherence cohesion
Main points are mentioned, but they require further development and explanation to effectively support the argument. Use a variety of sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow of ideas and ensure each point is adequately backed with evidence or reasoning.
task achievement
The response addresses the task, but it tends to be broad and sometimes drifts away from the specific question prompt. Ensure that all parts of the question are fully answered and that the essay remains focused on the topic. Avoid generalizations and strive to maintain relevance throughout your response.
task achievement
The ideas presented need to be clarified and expanded upon to fully demonstrate your understanding of the topic. Avoid presenting new ideas without explanation and prioritize depth over breadth in your discussion.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific, relevant examples to substantiate the arguments. Aim to incorporate real-life examples or hypothetical scenarios that are directly related to the topic and enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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