Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern world, it is evident that technology has become crucial in our lives. Adolescents spend countless hours on their screens, both for knowledge acquisition and recreational purposes. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
trend should be viewed as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
adverse development since it has numerous detrimental effects on our physical and mental
health
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, some individuals, particularly students, argue that
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
and technology have a beneficial influence on our daily lives. They believe that devices are essential tools and significantly contribute to their personal development.
For instance
Linking Words
, pupils use various educational applications that help them gain knowledge faster and more effectively.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, many people develop a serious addiction to their
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
, making it challenging for them to live without these gadgets. They waste valuable
time
Use synonyms
on unproductive activities,
such
Linking Words
as watching pointless videos, playing games, and excessively using social media platforms.
This
Linking Words
misuse of
time
Use synonyms
can lead to poor
time
Use synonyms
management and may result in neglecting important tasks, like studying for exams.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, excessive cellular phone usage can lead to social isolation, which can cause feelings of loneliness, depression, and
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
significance mental
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, mobile
telephones
Fix the agreement mistake
telephone
show examples
addiction can
also
Linking Words
have adverse effects on physical
health
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the blue light emitted by mobile screens can harm our eyesight.
Additionally
Linking Words
, excessive screen
time
Use synonyms
often leads to a sedentary lifestyle, reducing opportunities for physical exercise, which can result in various
health
Use synonyms
problems. In conclusion, the
augment
Replace the word
augmented
show examples
reliance on smart technology is undoubtedly a negative growth . Its widespread use poses potential risks to the well-being of our future generations, affecting both their physical and mental
health
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively structured to provide a clearer overview of your main points. Try to clearly state your position on the issue in the introduction and summarize your key points in the conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the question and presented clear and comprehensive ideas. You have also supported your points with relevant, specific examples. However, make sure to clearly state your position on the issue in the introduction and provide a more balanced evaluation of the positive and negative aspects of smartphone usage.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: