Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the modern world, it is evident that technology has become crucial in our lives. Adolescents spend countless hours on their screens, both for knowledge acquisition and recreational purposes. From my perspective,
this
trend should be viewed as
a
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an
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adverse development since it has numerous detrimental effects on our physical and mental
health
.
On the contrary
, some individuals, particularly students, argue that
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
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and technology have a beneficial influence on our daily lives. They believe that devices are essential tools and significantly contribute to their personal development.
For instance
, pupils use various educational applications that help them gain knowledge faster and more effectively.
However
, in my opinion, many people develop a serious addiction to their
laptop
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laptops
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, making it challenging for them to live without these gadgets. They waste valuable
time
on unproductive activities,
such
as watching pointless videos, playing games, and excessively using social media platforms.
This
misuse of
time
can lead to poor
time
management and may result in neglecting important tasks, like studying for exams.
Furthermore
, excessive cellular phone usage can lead to social isolation, which can cause feelings of loneliness, depression, and
unfavorable
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unfavourable
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significance mental
health
.
Moreover
, mobile
telephones
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telephone
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addiction can
also
have adverse effects on physical
health
.
For instance
, the blue light emitted by mobile screens can harm our eyesight.
Additionally
, excessive screen
time
often leads to a sedentary lifestyle, reducing opportunities for physical exercise, which can result in various
health
problems. In conclusion, the
augment
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augmented
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reliance on smart technology is undoubtedly a negative growth . Its widespread use poses potential risks to the well-being of our future generations, affecting both their physical and mental
health
.
Submitted by Jinyada5910 on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effectively structured to provide a clearer overview of your main points. Try to clearly state your position on the issue in the introduction and summarize your key points in the conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the question and presented clear and comprehensive ideas. You have also supported your points with relevant, specific examples. However, make sure to clearly state your position on the issue in the introduction and provide a more balanced evaluation of the positive and negative aspects of smartphone usage.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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