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Band 7.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctors #development
No one cast a shadow of doubt on the fact that the usage of different types of medication has increased in recent times. Some believe that it can be used as a substitute for going to doctors. In my opinion, it is a negative trend
due to
 the reasons which will be discussed below. On the one hand, there are some rationales behind
this
 idea that the unusual methods of treatment can bring benefits to society members.
Firstly
, they are practical for some diseases
such
 as headaches and mental issues.
Secondly
, they have a holistic view towards a patient and they consider the relationship between body and mind.
For instance
, some of these methods as mindfulness, homeopathy and needle therapy are beneficial for psychosomatic diseases.
Finally
, it is of paramount importance to single out that they have a peaceful approach towards curing and they can ensure people that they might get exposed to the least side effects.
On the other hand
, the significant role of doctors should not be neglected
due to
 a set of grounds. What it means is that some illnesses can only be cured by medical treatments like broken legs and cancers.
In addition
, reliability is an integral part of
this
 way as many experiments have been done to come to a certain conclusion about some sicknesses.
As a result
,
this
 approach creates chances to achieve health in a short time and it is improving day by day.
To sum up
, as discussed in the above paragraphs,
this
 is a negative development for society members to only want to experience alternative medicines rather than visiting professional doctors
due to
 the fact that the uncommon techniques are not as reliable as medical practitioners.
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task response
The essay addresses some of the key points but could benefit from a more thorough discussion of both sides of the argument. Provide clear and specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the logical structure within paragraphs could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and uses appropriate linking words to connect ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary. However, consider using more precise and varied vocabulary to express ideas and avoid repetitive language.
grammatical range
The essay shows a fair range of grammatical structures. To improve, vary the sentence structure, use more complex sentences, and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and word choice.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicine
  • conventional medicine
  • holistic approach
  • personalized care
  • side effects
  • regulation
  • evidence-based
  • self-care
  • empowerment
  • holistic health centers
  • complementary treatments
  • dissatisfaction
  • scientific evidence
  • appropriate treatment
  • cultural beliefs
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