Many family moves to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the contemporary era, a number of people are moving overseas with their families. Some individuals believe that it creates a positive impact for the
children
, whereas
others state that it results in difficulties for the children
to settle in different nations. I mentioned both views with my opinion in the below paragraphs.
To begin
with, many people think that migration with families is fruitful for the
Correct article usage
apply
children
.
The first and fundamental reason to support this
stance is some of the developed countries are providing the quality of education and work-life life balance,rather than underdeveloped or under-developing regions.For example
, in a recent survey in the year 2023 ,Canada noted that there has been a 25% increase in the number of immigrants in comparison with the last
five years.Moreover
, more and more immigrants are choosing developed nations to earn healthy money and upgrade their lives by gaining knowledge .In that , they are finding big-tier nations as a hub of employment and getting more opportunities compared to their regions.
However
, Other groups of people have completely opposite perceptions in terms of moving other
countries with Change preposition
to other
children
.Firstly
, they believe youth is the foundation of their respective countries, so it's better to raise pupils in their native place to not only create a better tomorrow in the country but also
it's necessary for children
to stick with their roots. Secondly
, if all the families moved overseas with their sons and daughters then
they would not learn about the values, culture and customs of their nation. Lastly
, children
will face difficulties to adopt
in different cultures and it destroys their child's Verb problem
apply
life
.
Ton concludes, both the points are right in their own ways , But in my stance, I agree with the second viewpoint to stick your younger ones with your native places,because it gains their culture and traditional values and for me, it's important in life.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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Structure
Organize your paragraphs more clearly by introducing each viewpoint in a new paragraph and using topic sentences to clearly state the main idea of each paragraph.
Structure
Use a variety of linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your writing and make your argument more persuasive.
Grammar
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typos. Proofreading your essay can help identify and correct these issues, enhancing the overall clarity of your writing.
Content
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. Examples make your arguments more convincing and give your essay more depth.
Task Achievement
You effectively discussed both views on moving overseas with families and provided your own opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
Language
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, which helps to clearly convey your points.
Structure
You have a good structure in place with clear paragraphs that guide the reader through your argument in a logical manner.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.