Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #punishment #children #point

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In the contemporary era, a growing number of individuals

believed

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believe

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that

punishment

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in educating

children

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is the best way to make them obedient

while

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others hold the idea that

reward

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rewarding

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children

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is better.

Personall

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Personally

, I am convinced that the combination

between

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punishment

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and

rewarding

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reward

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are

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show examples

the best way to teach

children

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and

this

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essay

would be explaining

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will explain

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both sides. First and foremost, the main reason why a number of individuals

holds

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hold

show examples

that idea is

punishment

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helps

children

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recognize right and wrong

behavior

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behaviour

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after they cause a consequence.

Moreover

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punishment

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can help build discipline and self-control, based on fear of bad consequences.

However

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, only marginal punishments should be applied and

children

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should not be punished by violence so that

children

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are more aware of their behavior.

For instance

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the

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number of

Asian’s

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Asian

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strictly

Rephrase

apply

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parents

applied

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apply

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light

punishment

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Change preposition

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their

children

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such

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confiscate

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confiscating

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a child's favorite item or

punish

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punishing

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them without watching TV for a day so that they remember their mistakes and do not make them again.

On the other hand

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, rewarding

children

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also

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a very good act of educating

children

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. Some people believe that rewarding

children

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for being obedient will give them more motivation and help them build self-discipline, rather than fear of

punishment

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However

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, rewards sometimes

also

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need to be accompanied by

punishment

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when

children

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do wrong. They need to improve self-awareness and the ability to recognize wrong or right. In conclusion,

although

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both views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that older generations should combine the

punishment

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and reward to

teaching

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teach

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children

Use synonyms

in the best way.

Submitted by phthaoo on Wed Nov 08 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but the logical structure of the essay could be improved for better coherence.

task achievement

The response addresses the task, but the ideas need to be more comprehensive and clear to fully meet the requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

punishment
reward
reinforcement
discipline
boundary
behavior
self-esteem
motivation
intrinsic
consequence
fear
anxiety
resentment
positive learning environment
balanced approach

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Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public.Why is this happening?Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money.