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Band 6.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
To start with taking possibility is a crucial aspect of both our professional and personal lives. It involves stepping out of our comfort zone and entering something new. But is it worth it? Let’s start with advantages,
this
 is a good opportunity for growth. You learn new skills or knowledge. If you take uncertainty, it can lead to new opportunities
as well as
 moving up the career ladder.
In addition
, we should not forget that facing challenges is a good experience that can help you to control your emotions. Some people feel excited about taking that one risk that makes
life
 more fulfilling and emotional. Now we will move on to disadvantages. There’s always a possibility of failure,
this
 is what you need to remember about.
Moreover
 a big risk of stepping back in your progress or losing what you already have. Taking risks is always something new so remember about the stress that can come out because of the unknown. Sometimes problems can affect your personal
life
 so your relationship with your family and partner could get worse quicker than you think. Emotional challenges
this
 is one of the hardest parts because it is hard to control them and not fall into depression or any other moral disorders that have a direct impact on your health. In conclusion, the advantages of taking opportunity often outweigh the disadvantages. It is crucial to keep a balance in your risks and think about chances in both your professional and personal
life
 to make the most of your
life
 potential. In both cases, it is an opportunity for growth.
Submitted by lana19 on

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task response
Task response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks in professional and personal lives. However, there is a lack of clear position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Provide a more decisive stance in relation to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure is evident throughout the essay, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the essay would benefit from stronger transitions between ideas to enhance coherence.
lexical resource
Lexical resource: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including appropriate use of formal and informal language. However, there are instances of wordiness and unclear expression that could be improved.
grammatical range
Grammatical range: The essay exhibits effective control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and punctuation errors that should be addressed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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