In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age from work outweigh the disadvantages?
In several nations, there has been an increase in the
retirement
Use synonyms
age
of Use synonyms
employees
. In my opinion, the benefits of Use synonyms
this
phenomenon Linking Words
such
as a larger skilled Linking Words
workforce
are overshadowed by the demerits relating to health issues of the elderly and youth unemployment rates.
The main drawback of raising the Use synonyms
retirement
Use synonyms
age
is related to health issues. Specifically, a higher Use synonyms
retirement
Use synonyms
age
could result in a significant number of older people who are more likely to suffer from Use synonyms
age
-related diseases continuing to work, which can make it difficult for them to perform their tasks. Use synonyms
For instance
, older construction workers prone to arthritis may struggle with operating heavy machinery or transporting building materials. Linking Words
This
can negatively impact their productivity and the progress of the construction project.
Another disadvantage of a higher Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
age
is that it could restrict job opportunities for younger individuals. If older people remain in the Use synonyms
workforce
for a longer time, companies may not need to hire new staff. Use synonyms
This
scenario could decrease employment prospects for the younger generation, potentially leading to higher youth unemployment rates. Take Vietnam as a prime example. The authorities implemented policies to raise the Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
age
of male Use synonyms
employees
from 60 to 62 in 2023, which partially contributed to an increase in the country’s young unemployment levels in the following year.
Use synonyms
However
, raising the Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
age
has several advantages, one of which is retaining skilled workers. Older workers often have greater experience in their fields than their younger counterparts. Use synonyms
Thus
, by extending the Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
age
, enterprises can continue to benefit from the knowledge and expertise of older Use synonyms
employees
. Use synonyms
For example
, these senior Linking Words
employees
can lead training sessions to share their experience with new staff.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
increasing the Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
age
can keep experienced Use synonyms
employees
in the Use synonyms
workforce
, I maintain that its disadvantages are greater Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
the
health concerns and limited employment prospects for youngsters. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, to maintain a healthy Linking Words
workforce
, governments should keep the Use synonyms
retirement
Use synonyms
age
at 60 or under.Use synonyms
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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Clear Comprehensive Ideas
To achieve a higher score, ensure that all ideas and examples are explained with sufficient detail. Although your examples are relevant, they could be further elaborated to provide a more comprehensive illustration of your points.
Logical Structure
While the essay is well-structured, using varied linking words and sentences will enhance the fluidity and coherence further, making it more engaging for the reader.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the argument.
Complete Response
You have addressed multiple dimensions of the topic, such as health issues, youth unemployment, and retaining skilled workers, demonstrating a thorough and balanced analysis.
Relevant Specific Examples
The use of specific examples, like the case of Vietnam, adds credibility to your arguments and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.