In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age from work outweigh the disadvantages?

In several nations, there has been an increase in the
retirement
age
of
employees
. In my opinion, the benefits of
this
phenomenon
such
as a larger skilled
workforce
are overshadowed by the demerits relating to health issues of the elderly and youth unemployment rates. The main drawback of raising the
retirement
age
is related to health issues. Specifically, a higher
retirement
age
could result in a significant number of older people who are more likely to suffer from
age
-related diseases continuing to work, which can make it difficult for them to perform their tasks.
For instance
, older construction workers prone to arthritis may struggle with operating heavy machinery or transporting building materials.
This
can negatively impact their productivity and the progress of the construction project. Another disadvantage of a higher
retirement
age
is that it could restrict job opportunities for younger individuals. If older people remain in the
workforce
for a longer time, companies may not need to hire new staff.
This
scenario could decrease employment prospects for the younger generation, potentially leading to higher youth unemployment rates. Take Vietnam as a prime example. The authorities implemented policies to raise the
retirement
age
of male
employees
from 60 to 62 in 2023, which partially contributed to an increase in the country’s young unemployment levels in the following year.
However
, raising the
retirement
age
has several advantages, one of which is retaining skilled workers. Older workers often have greater experience in their fields than their younger counterparts.
Thus
, by extending the
retirement
age
, enterprises can continue to benefit from the knowledge and expertise of older
employees
.
For example
, these senior
employees
can lead training sessions to share their experience with new staff. In conclusion,
while
increasing the
retirement
age
can keep experienced
employees
in the
workforce
, I maintain that its disadvantages are greater
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health concerns and limited employment prospects for youngsters.
Therefore
, to maintain a healthy
workforce
, governments should keep the
retirement
age
at 60 or under.
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Clear Comprehensive Ideas
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Logical Structure
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Introduction and Conclusion Present
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, effectively summarizing the argument.
Complete Response
You have addressed multiple dimensions of the topic, such as health issues, youth unemployment, and retaining skilled workers, demonstrating a thorough and balanced analysis.
Relevant Specific Examples
The use of specific examples, like the case of Vietnam, adds credibility to your arguments and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • life expectancy
  • pension systems
  • financial pressure
  • economic growth
  • workforce
  • retirement savings
  • skills and knowledge transfer
  • job opportunities
  • health challenges
  • work-life balance
  • societal resistance
  • burnout
  • productivity
  • well-being
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