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Writing Samples
Band 4

Most Countries allow 18 year olds to start driving a car. Some say it is good to allow it at this age, while others think that the age to start driving should be at least 25. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Maximum countries provide
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
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licence
Use synonyms
 at 18 years old. Though some people opine that
this
Linking Words
 is the best age
of
Change preposition
for
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 getting a driving
licence
Use synonyms
, others suggest
for
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apply
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25 years old. I support the former one. Those who support
the
Correct article usage
a
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 driving
licence
Use synonyms
 at
early
Add an article
an early
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 age may argue that it is important to move from one place to another for their daily needs.
For instance
Linking Words
, developed countries, like Italy, Germany or the USA, are familiar with early driving as they are getting the car
Change preposition
at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early age.
Moreover
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, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 mandatory part of their daily lives.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, they need to spend a huge amount of money and time
for
Change preposition
apply
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travelining
Correct your spelling
travelling
 a short distance.
Furthermore
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, to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their demand, they will go out with their cars either having
Use synonyms
licence
Add an article
a licence
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 or not,
wherd
Correct your spelling
where
 licenceless driving is a punishable crime for any society.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
licence
Add an article
the licence
a licence
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 valid way of using the car.
On the other hand
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, young drivers drive their cars recklessly.
Therefore
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, road accidents increase.
In contrast
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, adult people are more sincere about the speed of their car. They try to follow the traffic rules and remember the safety procedures.
Thereafter
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, the number of accidents decreases and travelers are safe on the road. A survey, which was done by the University of Dhaka, shows that 85% of the accidents in Dhaka
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happenned
Correct your spelling
happened
due to
Linking Words
 the speedy driving of teenagers. In conclusion, it can be said that though
early
Correct article usage
an early
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licence
Use synonyms
 has
Add an article
the drawback
a drawback
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drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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 of
Add an article
the accident
an accident
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accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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, it has some benefits, like saving time and money, which are more attractive.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are weak.
task achievement
The essay does not fully address the task, and the supporting examples are not fully relevant.
lexical resource
The use of vocabulary is basic, and there is a lack of variety in word choice. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and more advanced expressions.
grammatical range
The essay contains significant grammatical errors and lacks complexity in sentence structure. Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • responsibility
  • maturity
  • reckless behavior
  • statistically safer
  • accident rates
  • insurance costs
  • development of driving skills
  • inconvenience
  • public transportation
  • necessity
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