The inequality between rich and poor nations is now wider than it has ever been before. What do you think are the main causes of this difference and what do you think can be done to reduce the gap ?
In the modern world, the
gap
between rich and poor countries
has become greater than in the past. In this
essay, I will elaborate on some roots of this
issue and propose some solutions from my point of view.
To begin
with, there are several main causes of the widening gap
between the wealthy and poverty-stricken nations
. The first root may come from disasters such
as pandemics or civil wars. For instance
, in the case of pandemics, although
both the rich and poor countries
may be adversely affected, the former, which have better medical facilities and, therefore
, better preventive measures and treatment, will sustain lesser damage to their people and economy compared to the latter. This
will undoubtedly contribute to furthering the gap
between them. Secondly
, another cause can originate from an inadequacy of investment in education in poor nations
. That is
, the talented in such
countries
can usually be attracted by well-equipped infrastructure in the wealthier, which, in turn, deprives the poorer countries
of the human resources necessary for their prosperity.
On the other hand
, there are several remedial approaches that may be implemented. First,
international organizations, such
as the United Nations
, should urge wealthy countries
to aid their poorer counterparts in terms of education and facilities in return for certain benefits that can later be discussed. With this
aid, developing countries
can upgrade their infrastructure and ameliorate various socioeconomic aspects in order to fight against epidemics and resolve their internal affairs. However
, the government should adopt deliberate policies which attract and retain their genius and simultaneously open their economies to foreign investments. As a consequence
, with collaboration between the two aforementioned factors, the poverty of Third-world nations
can be thus
alleviated, narrowing the gap
between underdeveloped and affluent countries
.
In conclusion, disasters and a shortage of educational investment can be the main roots of the ever-widening gap
between poor and rich nations
. Nonetheless
, by means of the aforementioned measures, such
discrepancy existing in our world will hopefully someday be bridged.Submitted by lutranthevinh0610 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a complete response to the task, covering both the causes of the inequality and potential solutions. However, to improve, you could expand some points with more detailed examples or data.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear and comprehensive, there are some places where the language could be slightly more precise. For example, 'wealthier' could be replaced with 'more developed countries'.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, and your arguments are presented in a clear and organized manner. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using more linking words and phrases to connect your points more coherently.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is well-supported with evidence or examples. For instance, when discussing international aid, you might give a specific example of a successful aid program.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay by clearly stating what you will discuss. The conclusion also successfully summarises your main points and reiterates your stance.
task achievement
Your essay offers relevant examples that illustrate your points well, making your arguments more convincing.