Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Celebrating important events may be very attractive. Many people like to invest in their different
parties
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and spend a lot of
money
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in order to
make
Verb problem
have
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a fancy celebration
while
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others think that it would be a waste of
money
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and
time
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. I think that it is important to enjoy the different celebrations but
besides
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to be realistic
on
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about
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that. In the contemporary era, more and more people like to celebrate their
parties
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in unique and
unforgetable
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unforgettable
ways. That's why they would agree to spend a huge amount of
money
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and
time
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in order to prepare for it in the best way.
For example
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,
in
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at
show examples
birthday
parties
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, some parents would think about every small detail regarding
this
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event including the place, the clothes, the candies and even the gifts for the guests- things that cost not little
time
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or
money
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.
On the other hand
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, some people think that investing in
such
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celebrations is just a
time
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and
money
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waisting
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wasting
show examples
.
For example
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, if you pay a lot of
money
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in order to arrange your wedding party, you may start
you
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your
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new life with
economic
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the economic
an economic
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crisis that you may be able to avoid, so
instead
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of spending your budget on the wedding dress or the food, spend that
money
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on a trip around the world with your new partner.
To conclude
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, investing in special
parties
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may
has
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have
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advantages and
also
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drobacks
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drawbacks
dropbacks
. In my front of view, it is important to celebrate these
immenant
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important
events but not in a way that may cause a financial essay that you have to deal with
it
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apply
show examples
for a long
time
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.
Submitted by leenaasalee on

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Task Achievement
The essay does not fully address the task, lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are not well-supported.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure needs improvement. A clearer introduction and conclusion are needed for better coherence and cohesion. Supporting the main points with specific examples would enhance the essay's coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision and variety in the choice of words. There are also errors in word choice and usage.
Grammatical Range
There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the essay. Sentence structures are often unclear, and verb tenses are inconsistent. The essay would benefit from more complex sentence structures and more varied and precise use of grammar.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extravagant
  • frivolous
  • lavish
  • unnecessary
  • excessive
  • consumerism
  • unrealistic
  • social bonds
  • milestones
  • local businesses
  • celebrate
  • memorable
  • nostalgic
  • cherish
  • community
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