Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people's life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #arts #music #life #government #money

It is debatable

that

Correct word choice

whether

show examples

the

government

should curtail the budget

Change preposition

for

show examples

arts

. I partly agree with

this

view and I enumerate my

reasons

below. There are several

reasons

why public money should not be spent on

arts

. For one thing, the

government

has to use the taxes more practically.

This

is because the division of budget can directly affect a myriad of people’s lives.

For example

, if the

government

decides to allocate a budget to education

instead

arts

, free tuition, academic subsidies and more improved school facilities can be achieved, relieving the gap between the rich and the poor. In spite of the

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

mentioned above, I support the idea that the

government

should invest in

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

. First and foremost,

art works

Correct your spelling

artworks

show examples

are the major heritage of mankind, reflecting the society and the culture. Case in point, Monalisa by da Vinci, Almond Blossom by van Gogh, and The Son of Man by Magritte represent different ages, respectively.

Therefore

, the authorities should spend enough money to preserve these masterpieces, spreading not only artistic values but

also

historical properties. Second,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

arts

can effectively convey important messages to people.

Due to

the fact that

arts

can unleash sympathy, compassion and inspiration more easily than an address or short writings.

For instance

, Life is Beautiful, which is a movie

Change preposition

about

show examples

terms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Holocaust and The Second World War, can elicit an immersion

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

warning

Correct article usage

the warning

show examples

and

elicit

Verb problem

apply

show examples

tragedy of war. For these

reasons

, it is worth vitalizing the

arts

. In a nutshell,

although

some people contend that the

government

should aim at other goals

instead

of supporting art, the investment

Change preposition

apply

show examples

in art is needed for the

reasons

related to cultural and emotional values.

Submitted by moonmond15 on Thu Nov 09 2023

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task response

Provide a more thorough analysis of the reasons and examples for both agreeing and disagreeing with the prompt.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is logically linked to the previous one and that transition words are used effectively to connect ideas.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to include a broader variety of academic and topic-specific terms.

grammatical range and accuracy

Work on using a wider range of complex sentence structures and ensure that grammar and punctuation are more precise.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that arts (such as painting and music) do not improve people's life therefore the government should not spend money on it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that we should keep all the money we earn and not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefit compared to life in the countryside. To what extent to do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by other in the same age. This is called peer pressure. Do the disadvantages outweighed the advantages?