Young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on young people and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #malls #effects #society

There is an argument that teenagers spend their spare

time

in shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

consequently

Correct pronoun usage

which brings

show examples

brings

Wrong verb form

bringing

show examples

undesirable effects on them and the community. I partially agree with

such

a point of view, because even though it is important to hang out with

friends

to socialize, it is not a good idea to encourage teenagers to spend so much money on unnecessary things. On the one hand,

this

way of life can encourage

youngsters

to buy junk that they do not even need for real, because society tends to stimulate consumption,

consequently

, there is a waste of money often in unnecessary products.

For example

, it is estimated that 60% of young people in Latin America spend part of their weekends in shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

buying clothing and shoes, which results in impulse consumption.

Additionally

, it can bring debt and develop an addiction to shopping,

therefore

, it will bring financial problems.

On the other hand

, it is a good idea for

youngsters

to go to a shopping mall to know new people,

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

new

friends

and

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

a pleasant

time

relaxing, because it can improve their mental health,

thus

, they will be in a good mood and not feel isolated.

For example

, it is known that only 10% of teenagers in the USA who go to shopping malls on weekends tend to develop depression in adult life and it is a small amount,

consequently

, they are able to go to shopping malls only to hang out with

friends

and have a delightful

time

Moreover

, when

youngsters

have an active social life they will be happier and it is the best choice to combat mental illnesses,

consequently

, stimulating their brains.

To conclude

, I do believe that young people normally buy useless items

due to

impulsive consumption, in spite of saving money and avoiding future economic troubles. Ideally, not only should

youngsters

have to hang out with

friends

, but

also

have a delightful

time

to relax their minds.

Submitted by aracellyfontes on Thu Nov 09 2023

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Focus on addressing the specific extent to which you agree or disagree and ensure that all aspects of the question are covered.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary by using a wider variety of words and phrases to convey your ideas.

grammatical range

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

322 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

materialistic attitudes
excessive consumerism
sedentary lifestyles
peer pressure
financial irresponsibility
meaningful social relationships
family bonding
environmental degradation
commercial environments
productive activities

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Young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects on young people and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvement. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people are happy to spend their whole life in the same area, others prefer to live in many different places in thair life time? Discuss boyh views & give your opinion

Some people think that a job provides not only an income but also a social life. Other people think that it is better to develop a social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?