Some people think that old buildings should be knocked down and give way to the new buildings. To what extent do you agree or disagree? How important are old buildings?
Historical
buildings
are highlights of the nation
. People
argues
thatChange the verb form
argue
,
Remove the comma
apply
buildings
which are built before 10 decades should be demolish
and construct modern ones. I completely disagree with Change the verb form
be demolished
this
statement and will be explaining the importance of old buildings
in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
with, some ancient buildings
attarct
tourists. Flow of tourists to a Correct your spelling
attract
nation
due to
some ofl
Correct your spelling
of
monuments
can increase the economy of the country. Correct article usage
the monuments
Moreover
, it increases the job opportunities of the local people
. For example
, locals can build shops near the attraction, they can sell the
famous products and Correct article usage
apply
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
many
employment inside and outside the property. Nextly, Replace the quantifier
much
new
generation will be able to understand the culture and history of the Add an article
a new
the new
nation
by having archeological
sites. It can bring pride Change the spelling
archaeological
Change preposition
in
of
our heritage as well. Change preposition
in
Additionally
, youngsters obtain the hardwork
of our old Correct your spelling
hard work
people
who were
built it and sacrificed their Unnecessary verb
apply
life
for the building.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Subsequently
, people
often visit such
places for relaxation. Nowadays everyine
is busy with their work schedule. Correct your spelling
everyone
Hence
, on the holidays individuals who has
Change the verb form
have
interest
in history visit the places. Add an article
an interest
For instance
, some old buildings
are very calm and quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
place
. It will give Fix the agreement mistake
places
people
rejuvenation. Furthermore
, in schools
we learn about our history and the sites. Add a comma
schools,
By seeing
Change preposition
Seeing
this
ancient construction encourages Add an article
the child
a child
child
to study about Fix the agreement mistake
children
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
the
school. When we visualize a Correct article usage
apply
place
or building is more interesting than reading in
books.
An ancient Change preposition
apply
place
is significant for nation
in different ways. It attracts visitors, Add an article
the nation
a nation
increase
the economy of the country, and Wrong verb form
increases
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
peplea
Correct your spelling
people
site
Correct your spelling
with
seeing
and enjoyment Verb problem
sightseeing
place
.
To concluse
, the Correct your spelling
conclude
buildings
that
made by our Correct pronoun usage
apply
ancistors
should not Correct your spelling
ancestors
assault
. The meaning and importance are Wrong verb form
be assaulted
pricelss
. It provides many benefits to the country as Correct your spelling
priceless
wellas
to our Correct your spelling
well as
people
and students.Submitted by rinuthomasmathew07 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clarity and coherence in presenting ideas. There are issues with organization, and the examples provided lack specificity and relevance to the topic. Limited use of cohesive devices impacts the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt but lacks a clear structure and development of ideas. The examples provided are vague and lack depth, impacting the overall task achievement.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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