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Band 4

Cohabitation is believed to bring huge advantages for young people since it enables them to fully understand each other before deciding to get married. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#cohabitation #people
There is no denying the fact that
cohabitation
 for young
people
 is a crucial thing.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that
cohabitation
 brings massive
benefites
Correct your spelling
benefits
 for who
deciding
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to get married of young
people
. In my opinion, I consider that it
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 male and female to understand each other and get married.
To begin
 with,
cohabitation
 is beneficial for young
people
 to teach them about the next phase of their lives.
In other words
, it will tend and educate them to be familiar with the other gender.
In addition
,
this
 program may make
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have the ability to solve their problems and make
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
private problems
instead
 of
engaged
Wrong verb form
engaging
show examples
 their parents to help them.
For example
, statistics
approved
Verb problem
show
show examples
 that the percentage of
happience
Correct your spelling
happy
 families increased to 80% from those who
took
Wrong verb form
cohabited
show examples
cohabitation
 before
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 married. Another point to consider,
people
 who get married without
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
show examples
 and
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
show examples
 about family life,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may live in a difficult situation. It is
also
 possible to say that getting a wife is a new thing for you, so you need to alter many things and ideas to be ready for that.
Moreover
, assessments should be taken from parents or
cohabitation
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
.
For instance
, many countries like Qatar and Saudi Arabia have substantial rules to take a dealing test to ensure
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
show examples
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 married. In conclusion, despite
people
 having different views, I tend to believe that
people
 should get the knowledge about how to deal with the other gender.
Submitted by fatemah221027 on

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task response
Ensure that your essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a clear opinion with supporting reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a more logical and cohesive manner. Use paragraphing to show the structure of your argument.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions to convey your ideas effectively.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar usage. Use a variety of sentence structures and be more attentive to subject-verb agreement and word choice.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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