IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

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Lately, a plethora of topics is being seriously talked about among individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is advertising. In the succeeding paragraphs, the reasons for which experts are divided on the view in existing
advertisements
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 are to be discussed
along with
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 the writer's view on the matter. With regard to the
advertisements
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 are advantageous for communities for numerous reasons. It is a common fact that advertising provides rapid knowledge about new
products
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. To illustrate, most
products
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 are friendly for users in the present market owing to the fact that buyers can easily comprehend how to operate through the product instruction or product advertisement,
moreover
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,
advertisements
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 push forward the development and regulation of companies, which helps people to remember the exceptional brand and goods.
Therefore
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, advertising is inevitable and
also
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 essential in the process of market evolution. some argue
advertisements
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 are inconvenient in daily life. The reason is that some institution often boasts their
products
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 in advertising on TV. For a laundry company, to exemplify, they always claim their
products
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 can clean dirty reached 100% through TV advertising even though that isn'
t
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 true, but most buyers won'
t
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 spend extra time to return the
products
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, especially, the product from online shopping.
Hence
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, boasting advertising of
products
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 should be turned into focusing on true function. Considering, the elderly, one should rather the advantage is more than the disadvantage.
In other words
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, the advertisement of
products
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 assists the easy use of senior people.
For instance
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, presbyopia is a common elderly disease in the symptoms they can'
t
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 see clearly, but most instructions of
products
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 in the content are small words that provide hard reading for elders.
Thus
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, the appearance of advertising supplies an easy way for elders to understand
products
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. In conclusion, customers didn'
t
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 get satisfactory results from the
products
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 since the boasting
advertisements
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 of companies misled them.
However
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 one should bear in mind that the present market's development can'
t
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 leave advertising, and it
also
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 provides a friendly environment for elders.

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coherence cohesion
Strive for clarity in structure, with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea. Progression between ideas should be seamless, using a diverse range of cohesive devices appropriate to the discourse.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the structure of the essay. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the writer's opinion, providing a sense of closure.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph expands on a single main idea, with supporting sentences that back up the claim. Avoid including several unrelated ideas within the same paragraph, as this can confuse readers.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, making sure that your opinion is clear throughout the essay. Provide clear and well-developed ideas rather than general statements, and ensure each paragraph contributes to the overall position stated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion.
task achievement
Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures that suit academic writing. Avoid overgeneralizations and aim for precision in expression. Including specific examples and concrete details will bolster your arguments and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • manipulative tactics
  • brand loyalty
  • target audience
  • consumer awareness
  • economic impact
  • social issues
  • materialism
  • persuasive techniques
  • unrealistic expectations
  • mental health
  • consumer spending
  • brand image
  • societal values
  • awareness campaigns
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