Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays, an array of masses is living abroad for various reasons.
However
, they face
many difficulties with speaking another language
, and this
brings crucial issues
, whether social or practical. I strongly agree with this
notion and in this
essay, I will shed light on my viewpoints.
To begin
with, the major social problem that occurs due to
language
barriers is with making friends,
because friendship with local Remove the comma
apply
people
needs more than just a basic grasp of the native language
. Due to
a lack of good communication in foreign languages, people
find difficulty in making sound relationships with their neighbours and colleagues, which makes them feel isolated and hence
may cause mental problems like depression and anxiety. For instance
, immigrants who have difficulty understanding the English language
feel overwhelmed with English information, are unable to follow any public speech or any group conversation,
and seem helpless to understand their cultural values.
Remove the comma
apply
In addition
, people
also
confront many practical challenges. One of the major issues
people
face
is while
travelling. Since bus stop signs are written in the native language
, people
with problems in the local language
do not understand where to get off the bus. Besides
, immigrants face
difficulties in healthcare and legal services. Due to
weak communication, people
find themselves unable to explain their diseases to the doctor or any legal injustice they are facing to their lawyer. For example
, in China, all the road signposts are written in the Chinese language
, and the language
they use for official purposes is only Chinese, so immigrants who lack good knowledge of the Chinese language
face
many practical issues
.
To conclude
, I believe that people
encounter many social and practical issues
in other countries due to
less proficiency in the local language
, and the government should provide suitable support to them for tackling such
problems.Submitted by jagdeepsingh3699 on
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coherence cohesion
While your overall structure is coherent, there is an observable repetition of ideas which affects the logical development of your argument. Try to introduce varied points rather than restating similar concepts.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and appropriately constructed. However, the thesis in the introduction could be more clearly defined with a strong outline of the upcoming discussion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally supported, but the support could be strengthened with a wider range of examples and deeper analysis. Consider diversifying your supporting details to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task, but a complete response requires a broader exploration of the issues. You should expand on the implications and possible solutions for the problems discussed.
task achievement
Overall, you present clear ideas, but they would benefit from more comprehensive development. Use additional examples and explanations to fully address the prompt.
task achievement
Try to incorporate relevant, specific examples to substantiate your points. While you provide some examples, more detailed and varied illustrations would significantly enhance your argument.