IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, an array of masses is living abroad for various reasons.
However
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, they
face
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 many difficulties with speaking another
language
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, and
this
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 brings crucial
issues
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, whether social or practical. I strongly agree with
this
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 notion and in
this
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 essay, I will shed light on my viewpoints.
To begin
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 with, the major social problem that occurs
due to
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language
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 barriers is with making friends
,
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apply
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 because friendship with local
people
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 needs more than just a basic grasp of the native
language
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.
Due to
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 a lack of good communication in foreign languages,
people
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 find difficulty in making sound relationships with their neighbours and colleagues, which makes them feel isolated and
hence
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 may cause mental problems like depression and anxiety.
For instance
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, immigrants who have difficulty understanding the English
language
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 feel overwhelmed with English information, are unable to follow any public speech or any group conversation
,
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 and seem helpless to understand their cultural values.
In addition
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,
people
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also
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 confront many practical challenges. One of the major
issues
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people
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face
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 is
while
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 travelling. Since bus stop signs are written in the native
language
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,
people
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 with problems in the local
language
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 do not understand where to get off the bus.
Besides
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, immigrants
face
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 difficulties in healthcare and legal services.
Due to
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 weak communication,
people
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 find themselves unable to explain their diseases to the doctor or any legal injustice they are facing to their lawyer.
For example
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, in China, all the road signposts are written in the Chinese
language
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, and the
language
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 they use for official purposes is only Chinese, so immigrants who lack good knowledge of the Chinese
language
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face
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 many practical
issues
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.
To conclude
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, I believe that
people
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 encounter many social and practical
issues
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 in other countries
due to
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 less proficiency in the local
language
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, and the government should provide suitable support to them for tackling
such
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 problems.

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coherence cohesion
While your overall structure is coherent, there is an observable repetition of ideas which affects the logical development of your argument. Try to introduce varied points rather than restating similar concepts.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and appropriately constructed. However, the thesis in the introduction could be more clearly defined with a strong outline of the upcoming discussion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally supported, but the support could be strengthened with a wider range of examples and deeper analysis. Consider diversifying your supporting details to reinforce your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task, but a complete response requires a broader exploration of the issues. You should expand on the implications and possible solutions for the problems discussed.
task achievement
Overall, you present clear ideas, but they would benefit from more comprehensive development. Use additional examples and explanations to fully address the prompt.
task achievement
Try to incorporate relevant, specific examples to substantiate your points. While you provide some examples, more detailed and varied illustrations would significantly enhance your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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