IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In the past important knowledge and history were stored in the museum. Nowadays information is freely available on the Internet therefore is no longer a need for museums. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#history #museum #information #internet #museums
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There is an opinion that all necessary information about science and
history
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 is stored on the
Internet
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 these days and
museums
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 are not needed any more. It is partly agreed that online knowledge is a good replacement for
museums
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 and exhibitions nowadays. In
this
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 essay, I will shed some light on the issue and provide my personal opinion about the topic.
To begin
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 with, the
internet
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 is a wonderful place where a lot of ideas and knowledge have found their home. With a basic awareness of language and browsing access, a person can find almost everything they want about math or
history
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.
For instance
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, the free-to-use platform Khan Academy provides hundreds of well-structured courses from the school curriculum and helps kids throughout the world excel at humanities disciplines or maths. So, the
Internet
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 definitely opened huge possibilities for numerous people on our planet.
On the other hand
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, the
internet
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 is not capable of providing a sense of community and access to unique and rare exhibitions. Modern
museums
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 it is not only old things dug out in Peru or Spain, it is an ingenious and resourceful approach to sharing information among the citizens.
For example
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, New York's Modern
History
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 Museum tends to arrange numerous immersive spectacles for all ages and helps youngsters make their first steps in the comprehension of science and
history
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.
To sum up
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, it can be clearly seen that the
Internet
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 could be a plausible replacement for modern
museums
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 and exhibitions in terms of accumulating knowledge and exploring new fields.
However
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, like cinema has not replaced theatre, the
internet
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 is not able to substitute our desire to gather together and discuss our ideas in special facilities.
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coherence and cohesion
The essay has good overall structure and logical flow, but some ideas could be better connected to improve coherence.
lexical resource
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary, but some words and phrases could be more precise or appropriate for academic writing.
grammatical range
There are minor grammatical errors and a few awkward phrasing. Pay closer attention to sentence structure and use of complex grammar.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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