Many museums charge for the entries while others are free. Do you think the advantage of charging people for admission for museum outweigh its disadvantages.
In many cities, in order to visit the museum, people have to pay a fee for entry and
they
accept to do it Correct pronoun usage
some
while
others think they should be exempted. From my perspective, the advantages of paying for museum visits outweigh the cons.
Firstly
, visiting museums
is also
considered to be a kind of service and it needs to have the financial source to remain
their activities and properties. Usually, Verb problem
maintain
museums
are built on the
large acreage with Correct article usage
a
the
Correct article usage
a
big
number of facilities and Correct word choice
large
manpowers
. Correct your spelling
manpower
Therefore
, money collected from visitors can be spent on operation
costs of Correct article usage
the operation
museums
including electric
, Replace the word
electricity
water
bills and Correct word choice
and water
employee's
pay Change noun form
employee
cheque
. So, paying for the visiting service in Fix the agreement mistake
cheques
museums
means that citizens can help to alleviate the financial burden for governments if museums
do not have the ability of
Change preposition
to
self-nurturing
.
Correct your spelling
self-nurture
Secondly
, receiving money from customers lets
museum owners have Verb problem
gives
responsibilities
to enhance the quality of their infrastructure. Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
In deed
, when people allocate their expenses Correct your spelling
Indeed
on
any Change preposition
to
services
, they almost want to be satisfied and comfortable. On the opposite side, the leadership of Fix the agreement mistake
service
museums
also
have to find the
solution for attracting visitors. Correct article usage
a
As a result
, they may invest more in the customer's experience with vivid sound and image effects. By doing this
, museums
can become an interesting choice when people want to find a place to release their stress or give their children a chance to acquire valuable knowledge from museums
.
In conclusion, in contemporary days, paying charges for any services
is the normal thing and Fix the agreement mistake
service
museums
with their functions deserve to be given a fee from visitors.Submitted by leanhduc24121987 on
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task response
The essay adequately discusses the advantages of charging for museum visits, but it lacks some depth in the explanation. The examples provided are relevant but could be more specific and detailed to support the points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported with relevant examples, but the connections between ideas could be smoother for better coherence.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is fairly strong, demonstrating a good range of vocabulary. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and some awkward phrasing that affect the overall clarity.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good grasp of grammatical structures and uses a variety of sentence types. However, there are occasional errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage that affect the fluency and accuracy of the writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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