Some people think that mobile phone should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The increase in phone usage caused us to be connected all the time and it has become difficult to turn our
phones
off. Some may argue that mobiles ought to be prohibited in public areas, for
example
libraries, shops and on public transport. Add the comma(s)
example,
While
it is true that mobile phones
can be disruptive in public places
, if used responsibily
they can be quite useful. Correct your spelling
responsibly
responsibility
For
this
reason, banning them completely is not a good idea.
Mobile phones
in public places
can disturb others. Talking loudly or watching videos on
full volume is not considered good etiquette, Change preposition
at
expecially
in Correct your spelling
especially
places
like libraries and shop
, where people come to have a relaxing experience. In some cases, Fix the agreement mistake
shops
phones
can be a safety hazard. For instance
, if in a bus full of people everyone is being loud using their devices, the driver could have troubles
focusing on the road. Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
This
source of distraction could lead to a tragic accident. 154
As seen before, a non-responsible use
of mobile phones
can be terribly dangerous. By contrast
, a
proper Remove the article
apply
use
can be quite convenient. For example
, when on a bus using a map App can help people reach their destination safely or listening to a podcast or to some music while
shopping in a public place can improve our experience. Despite this
, the use
of phones
in public crowded places
should have a
stricter etiquette. In some countries, Correct article usage
apply
souch
as the Netherlands, there are Correct your spelling
such
certains
train carriages where it is illegal to be loud or Correct your spelling
certain
use
a phone without headphones. This
is a great idea for those who wants
to travel undisturbed by others, Change the verb form
want
while
those who don't mind can stay in the other wagons. Creating similar rules, where citizens' freedom of using
their personal devices isn't limited, can lead to safer and more peaceful public Change preposition
to use
enviroments
.
In conclusion, the reckless Correct your spelling
environments
environment
use
of mobile phones
in public places
can be a distraction and also
a safety hazard. To avoid unpleasant situations, phones
should not be banned, but their use
ought to be regulated.Submitted by rizzi.flavia99 on
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task response
Ensure that all the main points directly relate to the topic question and are supported with relevant examples and arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear overall progression and that ideas are logically linked within paragraphs and between them. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve coherence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition. Also, pay attention to collocations and word forms.
grammatical range
Pay careful attention to sentence structure variety and accuracy. Also, review the use of complex structures and tenses for a more varied and accurate use of grammar.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?