IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel
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In the contemporary era, every country is facing issues in order to safeguard
environment
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the environment
show examples
 from harmful
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 of gases
therefore
 efforts are being made to spike in
cost
 of
fuel
. I believe that only
hike
Correct article usage
a hike
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 in
fuel
 is not
realistic
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a realistic
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 approach. Some people will continue to use these petroleum products even if
cost
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the cost
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 will be increased for these services in
near
Correct article usage
the near
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 future. I completely disagree with
this
 statement.
This
 essay will discuss the idea and will justify my opinion. On
one
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the one
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 hand, environmental issues are
major
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a major
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 concern for everyone as
huge
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a huge
the huge
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increase
 in population and meeting their requirements are
biggest
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the biggest
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concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
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 for most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries. For
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
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 the daily needs of individuals, there are
provision
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provisions
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of
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for
show examples
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of transportation which is
further
 adding harmful pollution and detrimental effects to every living being.
For example
,
article
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an article
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 published in
Times
Correct article usage
the Times
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 of India
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 indicated that
cost
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the cost
show examples
 of petroleum products
is
Verb problem
has
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 already increased when
compare
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compared
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 to a decade ago,
still
Correct word choice
but still
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 there are spike in
number
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a number
the number
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 of vehicles on
road
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the road
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 and increasing day by day.
This
 is proven that even if authorities
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increase
cost
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the cost
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 of
fuel
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
no impact is observed on
usage
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the usage
show examples
 of transportation. On
other
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the other
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 hand, there is a need
of
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for
show examples
 alternative
source
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sources
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 of
energy
along with
spike
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a spike
the spike
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 in
cost
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the cost
show examples
 of
fuel
 services. Relevant authorities and
energy
conservationist
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conservationists
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 should focus on other
sources
 of
energy
.
For instance
,
Ministry
Correct article usage
the Ministry
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 of Biodiversity should focus on other renewable
sources
 of
energy
 like fossil
fuel
, methane gas so on.
By these
Change preposition
These
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 small efforts will be able to save our planet from harmful pollution and efforts are being made to find other
sources
 of
energy
.
To conclude
, by
increase
 in
cost
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the cost
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 of petroleum
product
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products
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 alone will not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
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 to solve environmental problems,
therefore
 there is
requirement
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a requirement
the requirement
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of
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for
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conservative
Correct article usage
a conservative
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 approach by both authorities and our
scientist
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scientists
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 so that we will not face detrimental issues by depleting our
energy
sources
 for our upcoming generation.
Submitted by deep.amans86 on

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Task Achievement
Consider providing a clearer introduction that directly addresses the prompt by stating your position clearly, whether you agree or disagree with the increase in the cost of fuel as a solution to environmental problems. The conclusion should also directly restate your position and summarize the main points of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow and clarity of your ideas. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and ensure that each paragraph has one main idea that is further developed and supported with specific examples or explanations.
Lexical Resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of synonyms and less common words to articulate your ideas more precisely. Avoid repetition of the same words or phrases and try to demonstrate a flexible use of language.
Grammatical Range
Improve your grammatical range by using a variety of complex sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Pay attention to the correct use of articles, prepositions, and conjunctions to enhance the accuracy of your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
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