These days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
In today's world, some men tend to choose
become
a caretaker in the household Fix the infinitive
to become
while
Linking Words
women
are likely to earn Use synonyms
money
. Use synonyms
This
essay will look at some primary causes of Linking Words
this
and provide a few Linking Words
my
opinions below.
There are several reasons for more Change preposition
of my
fathers
to stay at home to take care of their kids Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
women
become the main income in the household. One main cause of Use synonyms
this
issue is gender equality. Linking Words
To begin
with, because of the development of Linking Words
society
, some Use synonyms
women
are aware of their rights and values clearly. To illustrate, Use synonyms
for
those living in a developing Change preposition
apply
society
, Use synonyms
they
would find job opportunities easier which leads them to earn significant Correct pronoun usage
apply
money
. Use synonyms
As a result
, Linking Words
women
play as significant a role as men. Another reason that I would like to provide is economic factors. Use synonyms
In particular
, Linking Words
due to
economic pressure, some Linking Words
mothers
rush to work to improve their incomes. To illustrate Use synonyms
this
point, some Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
having
trading ability tend to become their own business, which brings them significant Wrong verb form
who have
money
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
mothers
are more and more likely to be independent about their finances, which makes them tend to go out to work.
In my view, there are several impacts of Use synonyms
this
trend on Linking Words
society
. The first benefit of the more and more Use synonyms
fathers
who tend to choose Use synonyms
becoming
a caretaker is that their children will get the attention Change the verb form
to become
from
both Change preposition
of
fathers
and Use synonyms
mothers
. Use synonyms
For instance
, when Linking Words
fathers
spend time Use synonyms
take
care Wrong verb form
taking
their
kids, Change preposition
of their
them
will get Correct pronoun usage
they
the
protection which Correct article usage
apply
help
them avoid Change the verb form
helps
to
potential damage factors from Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
Use synonyms
such
as Linking Words
risk
of sexual abuse and risk of being abused. Another advantage of Add an article
the risk
this
trend is that some households may balance their finances better. Linking Words
In particular
, with basic needs pressure Linking Words
such
as food and living Linking Words
cost
, Fix the agreement mistake
costs
fathers
and Use synonyms
mothers
can earn Use synonyms
money
together to handle Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
finances
problems.
In conclusion, the trend of some men choosing Replace the word
financial
become
caretakers in the household Fix the infinitive
to become
while
Linking Words
women
are likely to earn Use synonyms
money
seems to be Use synonyms
a
Remove the article
apply
favorable
progress. In my opinion, Change the spelling
favourable
this
tendency has a positive effect.Linking Words
Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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task response
The essay provides a relevant response to the task, with a clear opinion and supporting points. However, the response could be more developed with a more balanced discussion of the reasons and impacts of the trend.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. There is also a need for clearer connection between ideas within paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary and uses appropriate words in most instances. However, there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision of vocabulary.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good command of grammatical structures, although there are some errors in sentence structure and word choice. Some sentences are unclear or awkward, affecting the overall coherence.