These days, more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
In today's world, some men tend to choose
become
a caretaker in the household Fix the infinitive
to become
while
women
are likely to earn money
. This
essay will look at some primary causes of this
and provide a few my
opinions below.
There are several reasons for more Change preposition
of my
fathers
to stay at home to take care of their kids while
women
become the main income in the household. One main cause of this
issue is gender equality. To begin
with, because of the development of society
, some women
are aware of their rights and values clearly. To illustrate, for
those living in a developing Change preposition
apply
society
, they
would find job opportunities easier which leads them to earn significant Correct pronoun usage
apply
money
. As a result
, women
play as significant a role as men. Another reason that I would like to provide is economic factors. In particular
, due to
economic pressure, some mothers
rush to work to improve their incomes. To illustrate this
point, some women
having
trading ability tend to become their own business, which brings them significant Wrong verb form
who have
money
. Therefore
, mothers
are more and more likely to be independent about their finances, which makes them tend to go out to work.
In my view, there are several impacts of this
trend on society
. The first benefit of the more and more fathers
who tend to choose becoming
a caretaker is that their children will get the attention Change the verb form
to become
from
both Change preposition
of
fathers
and mothers
. For instance
, when fathers
spend time take
care Wrong verb form
taking
their
kids, Change preposition
of their
them
will get Correct pronoun usage
they
the
protection which Correct article usage
apply
help
them avoid Change the verb form
helps
to
potential damage factors from Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
such
as risk
of sexual abuse and risk of being abused. Another advantage of Add an article
the risk
this
trend is that some households may balance their finances better. In particular
, with basic needs pressure such
as food and living cost
, Fix the agreement mistake
costs
fathers
and mothers
can earn money
together to handle such
finances
problems.
In conclusion, the trend of some men choosing Replace the word
financial
become
caretakers in the household Fix the infinitive
to become
while
women
are likely to earn money
seems to be a
Remove the article
apply
favorable
progress. In my opinion, Change the spelling
favourable
this
tendency has a positive effect.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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task response
The essay provides a relevant response to the task, with a clear opinion and supporting points. However, the response could be more developed with a more balanced discussion of the reasons and impacts of the trend.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. There is also a need for clearer connection between ideas within paragraphs.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary and uses appropriate words in most instances. However, there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision of vocabulary.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good command of grammatical structures, although there are some errors in sentence structure and word choice. Some sentences are unclear or awkward, affecting the overall coherence.