IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is commonly accepted that the betterment of human
lives
Use synonyms
 should be the main focus of scientific knowledge and applications.
While
Linking Words
 I understand the necessity of
science
Use synonyms
 in elevating the standard of living of people, I believe the scientific domain should not be limited to
this
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain why I only partially agree with the statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, since humans are the ones who work with
science
Use synonyms
, it would seem logical if
science
Use synonyms
 was primarily utilized to improve their
lives
Use synonyms
. Universally, there are millions of people who experience substandard living conditions, even
Correct pronoun usage
those devoid
show examples
devoid
Correct pronoun usage
those devoid
show examples
 of basic needs. If scientific applications are concentrated in fields like agriculture, medicine, and transport, these people might be able to obtain a better livelihood. The advancement of technologies will
also
Linking Words
 benefit the ones who are already in better conditions by making their everyday life easier. Having considered all that, it is important to understand that if the primary goal of
science
Use synonyms
 is to enhance human
lives
Use synonyms
, other aspects of our living world will be deprived of its utility.
For example
Linking Words
, more research needs to be diverted into the advancements of ecological
science
Use synonyms
 in order to preclude the extinctions of multiple species, some of which are essential to maintaining the diversity of the gene pool.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other fields
such
Linking Words
 as environmental technology
also
Linking Words
 need attention. A recent study published in Elsevier showed that the rate of depletion of groundwater levels in South Asian countries is alarming, and needs balancing to ensure sustainability.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the focus of
science
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 be expanded over the other elements of the earth.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I do not fully concur with the notion that the main goal of
science
Use synonyms
 should be the enhancement of human
lives
Use synonyms
 because the utility of
science
Use synonyms
 should be more diverse so as to meet the requirements of our planet.
Submitted by addaragelal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by seamlessly connecting ideas and using transitional phrases to guide readers through the argument.
task achievement
Improve task achievement by focusing on fully answering the question and maintaining a clear position throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary with precise words and avoid overusing general phrases.
grammatical range
Increase grammatical range by varying sentence structures and employing more complex forms when appropriate.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: