IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #university #study #lack #workers #electricians #plumbers
Many are always chasing
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apply
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towards
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apply
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getting a degree from a reputed university or
valuving
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valuing
evaluating
 a piece of paper as an important degree of measuring
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a person's
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person's
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a person's
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 knowledge.
This
 may be
due to
 the societal pressure which most of us
facing
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face
show examples
. Vocational jobs
such
 as plumbing,pottery,gardening etc less relevant nowadays.
This
 may be
due to
 the lack of skilled labour available. I strongly agree
on
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with
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 the fact that formal education is important but
some
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in some
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 cases vocational education seems
prevalant
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prevalent
. Academics will not only help us to gain
soild
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solid
 knowledge but
also
helps
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help
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 in shaping some interpersonal skills
also
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apply
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like team management, handling stress etc. Getting a good score itself is a hectic process.
Additonally
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Additionally
, Most people
prefer
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apply
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will opt
formal
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for formal
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 studies
in
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apply
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a first glance as it will provide better pay and opportunities. Even parents who are doing vocational jobs
wanted
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want
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 their children to
chose
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choose
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 academics because of the above
reason
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reasons
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. No parents wanted to see their children washing the
car
 where some may be going by that
car
. In most cases, it is seen as a prestige issue rather than a job. Like in developed countries like the US, is not seen in
such
 a bad manner. Mostly, People there
likes
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like
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 to do these jobs like fixing some bulbs or
car
 washing on their own. These are seen
an
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as an
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activitiy
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activity
 or as an extra skill. Even public schools there have some vocational training classes and they focus on
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the holisitic
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holisitic
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holistic
 development of a person rather than only concentrating on being a
book worm
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bookworm
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. Sometimes, like in our own houses
also
 we would
be having
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have
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 some problems
in
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with
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 our cars and in case of emergency it will be difficult to call the mechanic to fix the
car
 and it is always good to have some knowledge about it.
Finally
, Education is really important but knowing some extra skills
not
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is not
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 a harm.
Submitted by vigvic013 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks coherence and cohesion. The ideas are not logically organized, and the essay lacks proper introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay partially responds to the task, but the response is not complete. The ideas are not well-developed or supported with relevant specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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