In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In
this
era
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era,
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western dress
are
Change the verb form
is
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prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
by the majority of people
besides
from
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apply
show examples
their
tradational
Correct your spelling
traditional
wear.
Although
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
are many
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
views
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
its demerit
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighs
the merits. I will explain my points in
below
Correct article usage
the below
show examples
essay. First and
the
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apply
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formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
reason, western clothes are
comforatable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
.
For example
,
majority
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the majority
show examples
of
porson
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people
are doing the
hand work
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housework
show examples
, so if they are wearing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
huge sum of clothes it should be difficult
of
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for
show examples
them for work, on the other side jeans and shirts are super comfortable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them.
Submitted by guptaprivateltd on

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Task Achievement
The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. There is no clear introduction nor conclusion which affects the overall coherence of the essay. The main points lack sufficient development and support and the response lacks completion. Specific examples are needed to support the points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. There should be a clear introduction that sets up the main points and a conclusion that summarizes the key ideas. The main points need to be developed with clear supporting details. Coherence and cohesion are lacking in transitions and linking of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. The ideas need to be organized in a more coherent manner.
Lexical Resource
The essay lacks a range of lexical resources. There are many instances of inaccuracies and inappropriate usage of vocabulary. The vocabulary needs to be more varied and appropriate for an academic essay. Use of complex sentence structures and appropriate collocations is also lacking.
Grammatical Range
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay. This includes errors in subject-verb agreement, tense usage, articles, and sentence structures. More complex sentence structures need to be used to demonstrate a wider range of grammar.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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