In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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In
this
Linking Words
era
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era,
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western dress
are
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is
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prefered
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preferred
by the majority of people
besides
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from
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apply
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their
tradational
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traditional
wear.
Although
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their
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there
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are many
positve
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positive
views
yet
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apply
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its demerit
outweight
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outweighs
the merits. I will explain my points in
below
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the below
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essay. First and
the
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apply
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formost
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foremost
reason, western clothes are
comforatable
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comfortable
.
For example
Linking Words
,
majority
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the majority
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of
porson
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people
are doing the
hand work
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housework
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, so if they are wearing
the
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a
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huge sum of clothes it should be difficult
of
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for
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them for work, on the other side jeans and shirts are super comfortable
to
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for
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them.
Submitted by guptaprivateltd on

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Task Achievement
The essay lacks a clear logical structure and coherence. There is no clear introduction nor conclusion which affects the overall coherence of the essay. The main points lack sufficient development and support and the response lacks completion. Specific examples are needed to support the points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. There should be a clear introduction that sets up the main points and a conclusion that summarizes the key ideas. The main points need to be developed with clear supporting details. Coherence and cohesion are lacking in transitions and linking of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. The ideas need to be organized in a more coherent manner.
Lexical Resource
The essay lacks a range of lexical resources. There are many instances of inaccuracies and inappropriate usage of vocabulary. The vocabulary needs to be more varied and appropriate for an academic essay. Use of complex sentence structures and appropriate collocations is also lacking.
Grammatical Range
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay. This includes errors in subject-verb agreement, tense usage, articles, and sentence structures. More complex sentence structures need to be used to demonstrate a wider range of grammar.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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