IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A large emphasis is given to the education in young generation.Government covers all of the free educational activities to what extent do you agree or disagree

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Education
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 is the foremost important feature in the
country
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.The government is accountable for the expenses in
this
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 field.Nowadays, the main emphasis is given to the younger generation. Proponents of
this
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 idea claim that it is essential for the nation's
reputation
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 and
tourism
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. A recent article, conducted by scientists at Wharton University, states that
education
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 plays a substantial role in a
country
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's
reputation
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.It discusses that it has a substantial impact on the
reputation
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.
Due to
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 proper
education
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 present in the
country
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, humans are more likely to be literate.
Thus
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, people will be able to obtain jobs that are demanding in the job market.
As a result
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, the economy of the
country
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 grows and obtains a good
reputation
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.
For instance
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, China- being the leader in
education
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 globally, has obtained an excellent
education
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 over the years.
Tourism
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 is an important feature of the
country
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 as well.
As a result
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 of growth in the economy, the
tourism
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 threshold rises simultaneously. People tend to immigrate to countries that have high
tourism
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 levels.The highest
tourism
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 levels come from the
education
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 of the
country
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 as well.
Thus
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, more people are expected to immigrate which raises the
reputation
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 and economy.
To sum up
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,
education
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 plays an enormous role in the
country
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. The government should be accountable for providing and emphasizing
education
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 to the younger generation since it increases the
reputation
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 and
tourism
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 of the nation.

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task response
Ensure that the examples provided directly and explicitly support the main points and the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Ensure that each paragraph flows coherently from one to the next, and that the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay.
lexical resource
The essay contains a good range of vocabulary, but could benefit from more precise and varied expressions to enhance coherence and cohesion.
grammatical range
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures that impact the clarity of the essay. Aim for more complexity in sentence structures and accuracy in grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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