In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messege?

#cultures #children #messege

In some nations,

children

usually believe that they are able to get everything if they

effort

Verb problem

exert

show examples

a lot.

Following

this

Change the capitalization

show examples

will check

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

and disadvantages of

this

issue.

Firstly

Work

for

children

is an opposite point.Because they can achieve anything they want in future.

For example

,if a child does not

work

,he should ask his parents for help to get something.

While

a kid who can earn money will be more

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

Furthermore

children

will

accustom

Wrong verb form

accustomed

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

some problems at

work

For instance

,he will know

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

how people behave and what will be their action.

Thirdly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

money

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

children

more happy.Namely, when a child

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

cash himself, it will be pleasant for him.

Also

,it is a good way to have a great future.As an example,if they save money from age eight to ten, are able to purchase an expensive thing like

car

Correct article usage

a car

show examples

or mobile for themselves.

In addition

,by working they are one step ahead of their peers.Both materially and spiritually.

Change preposition

For

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance,

thay

Correct your spelling

they

are able to

proud

Add a missing verb

be proud

show examples

of themselves or save currency for their life.Plus, they learn new things.Proverbially,

kids

will learn how to

work

better when they get a real job.

finally

,we can say that

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

for

children

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

their proficiency. For

disadvantages

Add a comma

disadvantages,

show examples

we can refer to

this

that

work

can be dangerous for some

kids

.As an example, they may get lost or get injured

while

working.The next tip is that most of the

children

cannot live without their parents in the strange world.Allegorically,they might

strave

Correct your spelling

strive

starve

or burst into tears.We can add

this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

subject that lots of people are butterfingered and cannot do something well.For a sample,they break or burn the utensil.

On the other hand

,if the

kids

do not succeed, some of them will be completely disappointed.

Means

Correct pronoun usage

This means

show examples

perhaps

Correct word choice

that perhaps

show examples

they do not

work

anymore in their childhood.

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

,most of the

children

really and deeply do not like to

work

.So,if their parents force them to do that,

kids

hate

Correct pronoun usage

them more

show examples

.Eventually,doing

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work

children

can

hurts

Wrong verb form

hurt

show examples

them more,rather than

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

them.

To sum up

,in some cultures

children

think that if they

work

hardly

Change the word

hard

show examples

and

sufficient

Add a missing verb

are sufficient

show examples

,they will be prosperous to attain anything which

thay

Correct your spelling

they

desire and

this

has some benefits and defects.I believe,

having

Correct word choice

that having

show examples

a job

however

small will be helpful for them and

assists

Correct subject-verb agreement

assist

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their fate.

Submitted by farhadmahmoodi227 on Thu Nov 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

359 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in smart devices among youngsters. Large companies are developing different strategies and attract undergraduates. In my point of view, this is a negative development, in which technology restricts the growth of teenagers’ mental strength. This stance will be proven by carefully analysing how it is not beneficial for students.
7.5
band
some people think that men and women have dipperent qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's society, many people believe that men and women have different qualities, leading to the assumption that certain jobs are better suited for individuals of a specific gender. However, I strongly disagree with this notion. In my view, individuals should be evaluated based on their skills, qualifications, and abilities, rather than being confined to predetermined roles based on gender stereotypes.
5
band
A magazine asked its readers to send in stories about a time they had a problem when travelling. Write about a journey where you had a problem to send to the magazine
During the term break, when I was studying Bachelor Degree in University, my friends from the faculty of Architecture and I decided to go to Phu Kradueng for the first time. It was the sudden decision to participate the group since I heard that it is the place where I would go once in a lifetime. Phu Kradueng is very welknown by the stunning sceneries amongst the teenagers and university students.
4.5
band
Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Over the recent decades, there has been a debate from some peoople that all aged chileren should have more responsibiltieis at home or other places as members of their group to learn about social skills such as cooperation with other peers and values such as consideration, being honest, and sharing each other. However, others argue that children should not be on pressure from out of schools to enjoy their lives with happiness and fun time with their families. I would like to put emphasis on the latter view point as it seems more reasonable to me.
6.5
band
Some universty students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some university students want to study extra courses in addition to their main subjects, but others argue they need to focus on those compulsory ones and get higher marks. These two ideas can lead to advantages and disadvantages both to your own knowledge and experiences and what you want to do in the future.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messege?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

some people think that men and women have dipperent qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A magazine asked its readers to send in stories about a time they had a problem when travelling. Write about a journey where you had a problem to send to the magazine

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy their lives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some universty students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.