In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messege?

In some nations,
children
usually believe that they are able to get everything if they
effort
Verb problem
exert
show examples
a lot.
Following
this
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will check
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
and disadvantages of
this
issue.
Firstly
,
Work
for
children
is an opposite point.Because they can achieve anything they want in future.
For example
,if a child does not
work
,he should ask his parents for help to get something.
While
a kid who can earn money will be more
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
children
will
accustom
Wrong verb form
accustomed
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
some problems at
work
.
For instance
,he will know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how people behave and what will be their action.
Thirdly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
children
more happy.Namely, when a child
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
cash himself, it will be pleasant for him.
Also
,it is a good way to have a great future.As an example,if they save money from age eight to ten, are able to purchase an expensive thing like
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
or mobile for themselves.
In addition
,by working they are one step ahead of their peers.Both materially and spiritually.
As
Change preposition
For
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance,
thay
Correct your spelling
they
are able to
proud
Add a missing verb
be proud
show examples
of themselves or save currency for their life.Plus, they learn new things.Proverbially,
kids
will learn how to
work
better when they get a real job.
finally
,we can say that
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
for
children
,
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
their proficiency. For
disadvantages
Add a comma
disadvantages,
show examples
we can refer to
this
that
work
can be dangerous for some
kids
.As an example, they may get lost or get injured
while
working.The next tip is that most of the
children
cannot live without their parents in the strange world.Allegorically,they might
strave
Correct your spelling
strive
starve
or burst into tears.We can add
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
subject that lots of people are butterfingered and cannot do something well.For a sample,they break or burn the utensil.
On the other hand
,if the
kids
do not succeed, some of them will be completely disappointed.
Means
Correct pronoun usage
This means
show examples
,
perhaps
Correct word choice
that perhaps
show examples
they do not
work
anymore in their childhood.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
,most of the
children
really and deeply do not like to
work
.So,if their parents force them to do that,
kids
hate
more
Correct pronoun usage
them more
show examples
.Eventually,doing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
by
children
can
hurts
Wrong verb form
hurt
show examples
them more,rather than
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
them.
To sum up
,in some cultures
children
think that if they
work
hardly
Change the word
hard
show examples
and
sufficient
Add a missing verb
are sufficient
show examples
,they will be prosperous to attain anything which
thay
Correct your spelling
they
desire and
this
has some benefits and defects.I believe,
having
Correct word choice
that having
show examples
a job
however
small will be helpful for them and
assists
Correct subject-verb agreement
assist
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
their fate.
Submitted by farhadmahmoodi227 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: