Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.
One of the widely discussed topics nowadays is giving a quality
education
. It is undeniable that education
become essential
part of our life. But, there is no absolute agreement on whether Add an article
an essential
education
should be only academic or physical activities.
Commonly held belief that academic education
is very important to a child's ability to think and acknowledge. As evidence
they point out that in school Add a comma
evidence,
children
learn and find out new things
, experience new exercises and create a
new Correct article usage
apply
project
. Fix the agreement mistake
projects
Furthermore
, school time knowledge is very important to growing organisms, since their brain starving for knowledge and want to explore new things
. Because even
scientists have evidence that Correct word choice
Even
brain
neurons of young people still have more space or power and filling Correct article usage
the brain
this
with knowledge is the best idea.
On the other hand
, some people claim that physical education
is also
vital, given that children
will tire or have a negative mood from learning new things
a whole time. Moreover
, humans who do regular routine events like sports, physical activities or even exercises have such
good memories. Because, the fact that people refresh their brains by doing physical education
have an incredible mindset due to
the event's change brain can relax.
In conclusion, considering the things
mentioned previously I argue that children
's first priority must be academic education
, but physical education
also
required by the growing organismAdd a missing verb
is also
,
since without Remove the comma
apply
this
children
's education
may be cause
Replace the word
caused
hazard
of Correct article usage
the hazard
boring
or loss of interest. Replace the word
boredom
Therefore
, t think both of them need attention and must be related to each other.Submitted by aikumarbekarys on
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task response
The essay partially addresses the given topic by discussing both views, but the arguments lack depth and coherence. More specific examples and details are needed to fully support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured with an introduction and conclusion, but the development and connection of ideas within paragraphs are lacking. The logical flow of information is not consistently maintained.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there are instances of unclear expression and imprecise word choice. More varied and precise vocabulary would enhance the essay's quality.
grammatical range
The grammar and sentence structure are adequate, but there are errors in verb tenses, word usage, and sentence construction that affect the clarity of the essay. Greater attention to sentence structure and accuracy is needed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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