IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In many developing countries, the standard of living in cities is much higher than in the countryside. What difficulties might a country face because of this situation? How can these difficulties be solved?

#countries #cities #countryside #difficulties #country #face #situation
There is little doubt that economic growth has led to a surge in living standards and levels of prosperity, particularly in urban
areas
. The gap between the wealthier urban
areas
 and poorer rural
areas
 can pose many challenges to both villagers and the government. The solutions would lie in incentivizing
people
 to stay in rural
areas
 and making the
countryside
 more attractive. The gap between urban and rural
areas
 in terms of the quality of life and living conditions can cause social and demographic instability.
This
 gap is certain to lead to an influx of rural
people
 moving to
cities
 in search of employment and a better life because of the superiority of salaries, education, healthcare and other public services in these
cities
.
As a result
,
cities
 will become overcrowded and the
countryside
 will be sparsely populated.
This
 could lead to high levels of unemployment and crime in urban
areas
,
while
 the
countryside
 would suffer a lack of manual workers to maintain the agricultural sector. It is, of course, agriculture which feeds the entire population. There are a number of policies which governments and those in power can introduce to alleviate the problem, The most immediate measure would be to offer incentives to those living in the
countryside
,
for example
 in the form of free education, healthcare or lower taxes.
Besides
this
, companies and factories should be encouraged to move to rural
areas
.
This
 would generate employment opportunities in these places, eliminating the need for young
people
 to relocate. To
this
 end, the government would need to improve the infrastructure of the
countryside
 and subsidize education for young
people
 to ensure that there is sufficient infrastructure and a well-educated workforce in place to attract businesses. In conclusion, the yawning chasm between the standard of living in urban and rural
areas
 can cause higher unemployment and crime rates in
cities
 and a lack of workers in the
countryside
. The answers would involve policies that incentivize villagers to stay and companies to relocate to less developed parts of the country.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and coherent. Each paragraph flows logically to the next, and you've made good use of transitions. However, ensure each idea is fully developed with more specific examples or further explanation when needed.
task achievement
While your response is comprehensive and addresses both the difficulties and solutions, consider elaborating further on the solutions proposed, providing more detailed examples or case studies to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively paraphrase and summarize the main topic and your main points.
task achievement
You effectively addressed both parts of the prompt, discussing the difficulties and providing solutions.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and easy to follow. You provided relevant points and developed them well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: