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Band 3.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantage of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives #advantage
Nowadays it is a common phenomenon that
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 are taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 in
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
as well as
 professional
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 presume that the benefit of
this
 precautionary action would surpass its drawback to a major extent. My position is elaborated
further
 with reasons and relevant
eamples
Correct your spelling
examples
. Examining the brighter side, the foremost one is that without taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 nobody might be able to succeed in their daily
life
.
Additionally
, if anybody wants to keep himself
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
comfort
Correct pronoun usage
his comfort
show examples
 zone, he will not find the right path in his
life
.
For instance
, Alan Mask -CEO of the space company Space X- is now one of the best businessmen in the world now because of his
risk taking
Add a hyphen
risk-taking
show examples
 capability. On the other side, if you see Bill
gates
Capitalize word
Gates
show examples
, one of the
billionier
Correct your spelling
billionaire
billionaires
human
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humans
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 earth
drops
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 his university but after his dedication he became the richest person in the world.
On the contrary
, There are some darker sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 taking risks in
life
. if a surgeon
have
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has
show examples
 taken
risk
Correct article usage
a risk
show examples
 without proper preparation during
operation
Add an article
the operation
an operation
show examples
 he may easily
made
Change the verb form
make
be made
show examples
 a mistake.
Consequently
,
patients
Change noun form
patients'
patient's
show examples
life
 fall
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a risky situation.
Moreover
, If anybody quit his job before
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 a good job
then
 it will be difficult for him to run the next
upcoming
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
bad situation. Having discussed the
argemnts
Correct your spelling
arguments
 and
counterargumets
Correct your spelling
counterarguments
counterargument
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to infer that without taking
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
nobody can succeed in his
life
.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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