Some people believe arts such as painting and music cannot directly improve the quality of people's lives so that government money should be spent on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a statement arguing that
art
, like painting and music
, has no impact on human life
standards. Furthermore
, it states that the government should spend their budget on other activities, as art
is useless. From my point of view, art
must be considered a valuable resource, which affects individuals' daily lives and moods, so I completely disagree with this
opinion.
In today's modern life
, art
has become ubiquitous and lost its priceless value. With the increasing development of technology, everyone can make their own art
. For instance
, by using different AI programs, you can create your own artwork. There are numerous websites like ChatGPT, AI Maker, and Fluton, which create undeniably wonderful and matchless pictures. Moreover
, using paint programs, you can draw pictures manually. There are several apps, such
as My Paint, Adobe Photoshop, Canva, and GIMP, which are programmed for professionals to make illustrations and make it easier to paint.
On the other hand
, the music
sector has also
diversified with the development of technology. Modern music
devices have obviously made it easier to produce good music
.
However
, all this
does not mean that we can overlook the importance of art
. Even in the past, art
was highly valued and ubiquitous. For example
, in the Ottoman Empire's palaces, hundreds of employees worked, including painters
and musicians
. The emperors themselves invited these musicians
and painters
from European countries like France, Italy, and Spain, and they were well-paid. Even this
fact illustrates the undeniable effect of art
on human life
. For example
, music
can motivate or depress someone depending on the background music
. We cannot deny the fact that painters
like Da Vinci and Van Gogh played a crucial role in the development of humanity by engaging their matchless art
. Furthermore
, musicians
like Mozart and Beethoven created their music
despite facing countless difficulties.
Fortunately, governments nowadays fund the arts more than in the past. New musicians
and painters
with remarkable abilities have emerged with the help of government funding, and it is undeniable that they will impact humanity in the future.
To conclude
, art
plays a crucial part in human life
. Individuals improve art
day by day and continue to develop it. I completely disagree with the statement that governments waste their money on art
, as art
is what makes people motivated, depressed, and lively.Submitted by nejla.abdullayeva on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a smoother flow between certain sections. For instance, the transition between the paragraphs discussing the development of art technology and the historical importance of art could be made a bit more seamless. Use linking words and phrases to achieve this.
task achievement
While your essay provides strong examples from both historical and modern contexts, it might be more effective if these examples were explicitly tied back to the main argument more frequently. This will help in reinforcing your stance through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, providing a clear stance and summarizing the key points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with distinct paragraphs that each discuss a unique aspect of the topic, aiding in the reader's understanding.
task achievement
You have provided a well-rounded argument with supporting examples from both historical and modern contexts, which enriches the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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