IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has made knowledge immediately available to people through computers and smartphones all around the world. Much of this knowledge is also free. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #people #computers #smartphones #world #trend
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Knowledge
Use synonyms
 is instantly available over the Internet to people
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 mobile phones and computers
at
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apply
show examples
anywhere
in
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on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Earth. Normally, almost all the
information
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 ready to use on the
Word
Correct your spelling
World
show examples
 Wide Web is free of charge. Only some websites
such
Linking Words
 as the ones from
newspapers
Change the noun form
newspaper
show examples
 companies are
payed
Correct your spelling
paid
show examples
. There are some positive aspects and some negative points that we will discuss next. One of the main positive points of
this
Linking Words
 fact is that the
knowledge
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 is broadcasted for everybody, no matter their economic class or localization. Poor and wealthy people have access to the same
information
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, at the same time, anywhere. And in the modern world,
knowledge
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 is power.
For
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this
Linking Words
 reason,
this
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 a good way to
empowerment
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empower
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 those
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
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 not have good social or economic conditions
for
Correct word choice
so
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 they get a better life.
On the other hand
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,
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that the
information
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 is free,
this
Linking Words
information
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 can be less reliable.
This
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occours
Correct your spelling
occurs
 because the people or company that put
an
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
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information
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 online for free are not
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
with
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to
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 the
true
Replace the word
truth
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 and they does not
could
Verb problem
apply
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suffer
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
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such
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a
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as a
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professional jornalist can do.
Therefore
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, it is an important drawback to consider
about
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apply
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the
knowledge
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 obtained for free by the Internet. There are many examples, especially about politics,
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in wich
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wich
Correct your spelling
which
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campaign
Correct article usage
a campaign
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 can publish some fake news against the
oppositors
Correct your spelling
opposition
, just to get some votes. To summarize, there are advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 trend. We must pay attention
what
Change preposition
to what
show examples
information
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 is genuine and what is not, reporting when we
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 it.
Overall
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, there are more benefits than harms to getting free data and
information
Use synonyms
 from the Internet.
Submitted by fmulato on

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Task Response
Your essay needs to be more focused on addressing the specific advantages and disadvantages of the immediate availability of knowledge on the internet. Make sure to clearly discuss both aspects in detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is somewhat weak, and there is room for improvement in the coherence and organization of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear and logical sequence, and use linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
Lexical Resource
You demonstrate a moderate range of vocabulary and use a mix of simple and complex structures. However, there is room for improvement in using more precise and diverse vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including verb tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing. Work on improving the accuracy of your grammar and sentence structures for greater clarity and coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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