These days many children spend a great deal of time sitting in from of a television. Some people believe that parents should strictly limit the time that children spend watching TV as it is harmful to their development. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Many youngsters, nowadays, excessively sit in front of a television.

This

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can impact negatively on their development so some people argue that

children

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should have a limited

time

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for watching

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and

this

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could be done by their parents. I totally agree with

this

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statement because

overly spending

Wrong verb form

over

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time

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watching

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limits

children

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from developing social

skills

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and improving physical health. Excessive

time

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spent watching television in pupils can lead to

the

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lack of social

skills

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as these

children

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do not use their

time

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with others. Social

skills

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such

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as communication and conflict management can be learned naturally by spending

time

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with friends since it allows

children

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to talk with others.

Therefore

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children

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are forced to improve their communication

skills

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For example

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children

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who are in a sports club will experience how to work as a team and

also

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learn how to win a game without relationship problems, developing their social

skills

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automatically. And

this

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can be done with parents' support. There is a likelihood of underdevelopment for

children

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who watch

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too much

instead

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of engaging

outdoor

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in outdoor

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activities because they have fewer chances to move their bodies.

Children

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’s muscles and hand-eye coordination can be improved through physical activities

such

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as sports. If

children

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prioritize watching

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and stay in a sedentary posture for a long period, they will have not enough

time

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to move themselves, leading to unhealthy habits.

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Remove the article

apply

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research in many countries has revealed that younger

children

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, who normally sit in front of television or even play phones too much, got lower scores on hand-eye coordination tests. In conclusion, if

children

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excessively spend their

time

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

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, they will lack their development both social

skills

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and physical health.

Therefore

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, I agree that parents should take responsibility

to limit

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for limiting

show examples

their kids' screen

time

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and offer alternative choices

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for

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playing, enhancing

children

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's essential development.

pw.mmuiiSun Mar 16 2025

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Task Achievement

To strengthen your task achievement, consider providing more nuanced arguments, addressing potential counterarguments, or discussing the role of television in education and learning.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improving coherence can involve clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph, which would help guide the reader through your points more effectively.

Overall Writing Improvement

Incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your writing style and engage the reader further.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion and logical reasoning for the arguments, demonstrating strong engagement with the topic.

Task Achievement

The examples provided, particularly regarding social skills through team sports, are relevant and effectively illustrate your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

The overall structure of your essay is good, with a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points well.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
psychological harm
inappropriate content
obesity
screen time
engage
active pursuits
moderation
value of moderation
educational content
beneficial
proper limits
influence behavior
healthy choices
physical and mental development

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These days many children spend a great deal of time sitting in from of a television. Some people believe that parents should strictly limit the time that children spend watching TV as it is harmful to their development. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Your college has a considerable amount of money to spend on improving your school security. You've been asked to write a report for the director saying whether the money should be spent on more security guards or sophosticated equipment.

International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history.