IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. Why do they think so? Solutions for this negative attitude

#people #tourism #country #attitude
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A number of people
seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 tourism
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
global
Change the word
globally
show examples
 has
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their nation.
This
Linking Words
 essay believes that the bad feeling is caused by
Use synonyms
culture shocking
Replace the word
cultural shock
show examples
 and development limitation of local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
while
Linking Words
 education to the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 and well planning of the tourism
area
Use synonyms
 could be solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 negative attitude. One of the causes
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
against
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of foreign
touris
Correct your spelling
tourists
tourism
tourist
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
culture
Use synonyms
 shock, which means the
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
 or
behaviours
Replace the word
behavioural
show examples
 gap between two parties.
With
Change preposition
Without
show examples
no
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 doubt, travellers from foreign countries usually behave as usual like their home country.
Thus
Linking Words
 the difference between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
Use synonyms
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
 systems, the
foriegner
Correct your spelling
foreigner
foreigners
 and the locals,
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
interacted and
that is
Linking Words
 why the conflict comes.
For example
Linking Words
, keeping
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
 when
travalling
Correct your spelling
travelling
 on public transport is a social rule for
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, the mentioned practice may not be
awared
Correct your spelling
aware
 of by travellers who
then
Linking Words
 talk loudly on
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
,
as a result
Linking Words
,
culture
Use synonyms
 shock
happens
Verb problem
apply
show examples
and
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 may feel uncomfortable.
Besides
Linking Words
, the development of international
trousium
Correct your spelling
tourism
 may impact the development
area
Use synonyms
 of local business given the profit growth
is relied
Change to the active voice
relies
has relied
show examples
 on the favour of foreigners.
For example
Linking Words
, luxury branding shops
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
significate
Correct your spelling
significantly
show examples
 increased at Tsim Sha Tsui in Hong Kong in the view
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
attracking
Correct your spelling
attract
vistors
Correct your spelling
visitors
 from China who
willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
 to pay for those
high value
Add a hyphen
high-value
show examples
 brands when
go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 to Hong Kong.
Linking Words
This
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
as a result
Linking Words
, the number of local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
area
Use synonyms
 has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapid decrease
Replace the word
rapidly decreased
show examples
 at the same time. People who
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 around hard to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 their daily
requriements
Correct your spelling
requirements
then
Linking Words
. To resolve the negative attitude about international
toursium
Correct your spelling
tourism
, the government should educate the visitors
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 key social behaviour which is highly concerned by
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 of a place. Even more, the government should well organize the tourist
area
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
 to balance the requirement between foreigners and the
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
.
Submitted by sangelamami on

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task response
The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic, but the arguments lack depth and detailed examples. The essay should provide more comprehensive explanations and develop the ideas more fully.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear. The main points are not well connected, and the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The essay should improve the organization of ideas and include a strong introduction and conclusion to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The essay shows a limited range of vocabulary and uses some expressions inconsistently. To improve, the essay should utilize a wider variety of vocabulary and ensure the appropriate use of expressions throughout.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, including tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing. The essay would benefit from more attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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