Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to bring up children? What consequences could this way of parenting pose on children as they get older?

Many sponsors nowadays tend to offer all their kids’ requirements unlimitedly. I find

this

completely insensible because it can cause the majority of consequences.

To begin

with, I believe that providing children with whatever they want is not a rational way to raise them.

This

can be seen that many social evils can be caused. Being pampered for too long will make teenagers have incorrect awareness that everyone has to follow their needs.

As a result

, they will

bahave

Correct your spelling

behave

have

wrongly if they are not satisfied.

Besides

this

nurturing method can create the

dependance

Correct your spelling

dependence

dependency

of kids on their family. To explain, when those young people love something, they

wil

Correct your spelling

will

pray for others’ help

instead

of making

effort

Correct article usage

an effort

show examples

to get it.

Thus

, it seems to me that parenting kids by giving them permission to do everything they want is not appropriate. On top of that, satisfying all children’s demands has a great number of negative effects. First of all, they will have

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lack of life

skills

such

as time-management

skills

, communication

skills

and emotion-control

skills

since their parents educate them too easily.

Furthermore

, selfishness is

also

a major problem that can

be resulted

Wrong verb form

result

show examples

. Growing up in

wealthy

Add an article

a wealthy

show examples

family with their sponsors’ over-caring will make them unable to empathise with others and do not know how to share.

According to

a recent BBC survey, most individuals who attend soft-

skills

classes for under 40 people said that they were taken care of by their parents until 30.

Therefore

, meeting children’s demands is not a good idea to nurture them. In conclusion, for

those

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

below reasons, I firmly think that pampering teens too openly is not a logical parenting method.

Due to

its bad influences, sponsors should stop applying

this

raising system as soon as possible.

Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on Fri Nov 10 2023

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Task Achievement

It appears you have some understanding of the topic, and there is an introduction and conclusion. However, your arguments would benefit from clearer examples and more focused development. Incorporate specific, relevant examples to support each point you make, ensuring that your arguments are persuasive and complete.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates some logical structure, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, it would be improved by having a clearer progression of ideas throughout. Aim for logical sequencing of your main points and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance readability and flow.

Task Achievement

Avoid overgeneralizations and ensure that your main points are directly addressing the prompt. It is important to stay on topic and to respond to all parts of the task thoroughly.

Lexical Resource

While your essay includes a variety of vocabulary, you should strive to use vocabulary that is both precise and appropriate to the context. Avoid repetition and use synonyms where possible to demonstrate a wider lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Work on your grammatical range by incorporating a variety of complex sentence structures. This will demonstrate your proficiency in English and contribute to the overall clarity and sophistication of your essay. Watch for minor grammatical errors and strive to minimize them.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

indulgence
overindulgence
leniency
emotional resilience
rejection
entitlement
realistic expectations
self-regulated behavior
egocentric
financial management
professional relationships
collaboratively
criticism
appreciation
value
effort

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Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to bring up children? What consequences could this way of parenting pose on children as they get older?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

The proportion of older people is increasing, what problems will this cause and what solutions can be suggested?

Some people think that video games are advantageous, while others believe video games are harmful to the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Question: Traffic congestion in many cities in the world makes it difficult for people to get in and out of cities, and to move around inside them. Why do you think this is happening? What could be done to solve these problems?