Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to bring up children? What consequences could this way of parenting pose on children as they get older?
Many sponsors nowadays tend to offer all their kids’ requirements unlimitedly. I find
this
completely insensible because it can cause the majority of consequences.
To begin
with, I believe that providing children with whatever they want is not a rational way to raise them. This
can be seen that many social evils can be caused. Being pampered for too long will make teenagers have incorrect awareness that everyone has to follow their needs. As a result
, they will bahave
wrongly if they are not satisfied. Correct your spelling
behave
have
Besides
, this
nurturing method can create the dependance
of kids on their family. To explain, when those young people love something, they Correct your spelling
dependence
dependency
wil
pray for others’ help Correct your spelling
will
instead
of making effort
to get it. Correct article usage
an effort
Thus
, it seems to me that parenting kids by giving them permission to do everything they want is not appropriate.
On top of that, satisfying all children’s demands has a great number of negative effects. First of all, they will have the
lack of life Correct article usage
a
skills
such
as time-management skills
, communication skills
and emotion-control skills
since their parents educate them too easily. Furthermore
, selfishness is also
a major problem that can be resulted
. Growing up in Wrong verb form
result
wealthy
family with their sponsors’ over-caring will make them unable to empathise with others and do not know how to share. Add an article
a wealthy
According to
a recent BBC survey, most individuals who attend soft-skills
classes for under 40 people said that they were taken care of by their parents until 30. Therefore
, meeting children’s demands is not a good idea to nurture them.
In conclusion, for those
below reasons, I firmly think that pampering teens too openly is not a logical parenting method. Correct determiner usage
the
Due to
its bad influences, sponsors should stop applying this
raising system as soon as possible.Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on
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Task Achievement
It appears you have some understanding of the topic, and there is an introduction and conclusion. However, your arguments would benefit from clearer examples and more focused development. Incorporate specific, relevant examples to support each point you make, ensuring that your arguments are persuasive and complete.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates some logical structure, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, it would be improved by having a clearer progression of ideas throughout. Aim for logical sequencing of your main points and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance readability and flow.
Task Achievement
Avoid overgeneralizations and ensure that your main points are directly addressing the prompt. It is important to stay on topic and to respond to all parts of the task thoroughly.
Lexical Resource
While your essay includes a variety of vocabulary, you should strive to use vocabulary that is both precise and appropriate to the context. Avoid repetition and use synonyms where possible to demonstrate a wider lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Work on your grammatical range by incorporating a variety of complex sentence structures. This will demonstrate your proficiency in English and contribute to the overall clarity and sophistication of your essay. Watch for minor grammatical errors and strive to minimize them.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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