IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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The desire of companies to emphasise the novelty of their
products
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 is becoming more aggressive, reflecting the psychology of consumers and the ethical aspects of marketing.
Although
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 in some cases
this
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 can promote innovation, in general, I believe that excessive advertising often has more negative than positive consequences,
such
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 as waste and strengthening the culture of disposable consumption. One of the main reasons why marketing focuses on
such
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 advertising is the psychological side. Buyers usually strive for the latest, high-quality and unique.
This
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 is noticeable,
for example
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, in the cosmetics industry, where brands
such
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 as MAC, Shiseido, and Maybelline collaborate with celebrities to produce strictly limited editions of rare
products
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.
As a result
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 of
such
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 cooperation, consumers have a desire to purchase goods as soon as possible, even if
this
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 purchase is impulsive. If
such
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 a constant pursuit of novelty only stimulated economic activity, it would be extremely positive, but the negative consequences are obvious. Insatiable consumer demand often leads to the accumulation of cosmetics, which for the most part remain unused, which contributes to the development of a culture of excess.
This
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 trend, in turn, exacerbates environmental problems
due to
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 the increase in the amount of waste and contributes to the formation of public opinion in which single-use is valued above environmental friendliness.
Conversely
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, some companies use the concept of high-profile innovation from the standpoint of ethics and improving society.
For example
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, the context in which green enterprises launch new
products
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 on the market, loudly proclaiming it, is a necessary and useful advertisement that raises public awareness. If a company donates part of its profits to environmental initiatives or participates in activities that promote sustainable development, buying goods from it is preferable to a less innovative one in
this
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 regard.
However
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, it is still important to carefully examine the intentions behind
such
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 branding strategies, as the fine line between genuine sustainability efforts and greenwashing can be blurred.
Thus
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, the desire of companies to emphasise the innovation of their
products
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 is a double-edged sword.
However
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, I am convinced that the prevailing negative effects,
such
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 as encouraging consumerism and environmental damage, in most cases outweigh the potential benefits.
Therefore
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, it is important to develop conscious consumption and critical thinking so that the pursuit of new things does not come at the expense of
a
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an
show examples
 eco-friendly future.

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Task Achievement
Your essay responds well to the task, clearly outlining the reasons why businesses emphasize novelty and discussing both the positive and negative aspects. Consider providing even more examples or elaborating on your ideas for a fuller response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall structure of your essay is clear and logical. Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, contributing to the flow of the essay. However, you might improve coherence by adding transition phrases to link ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction succinctly presents the topic and your position, which is a strong start to the essay.
Task Achievement
You successfully analyze the reasons for companies' advertising strategies, presenting a balanced view which adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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