IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

personal statementnya based on this instruction: _Applicants must write between 400 and 4,000 characters. We do not specify an exact length; applicants should write as much as is necessary to make their application the strongest it can be. As a minimum, we expect applicants to explain why they are suitable for the course and why they have chosen to study with us_

As a Montessori preschool teacher, I witnessed firsthand how a lack of leadership support (not a lack of passion) can lead brilliant educators to walk away from a profession they once loved. I saw talented colleagues lose motivation not because they stopped caring, but because they had nowhere to grow. These moments made me wonder, what keeps
people
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 inspired at work? What makes someone stay, not just out of obligation, but because they feel seen and supported? I didn’t have the answers
then
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, but I knew I wanted to be part of the solution. My academic background in Psychology
Science
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and Science
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 laid the foundation for
this
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 direction. I developed a strong understanding of human motivation, emotional well-being, and organizational
behavior
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behaviour
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—knowledge I applied beyond the classroom as a Community & Partnership Lead for a mental health awareness company. There, I promoted emotional wellness, built strategic collaborations, and led initiatives that bridged professional development with human connection. These experiences deepened my belief that sustainable workplaces aren’t built on policy alone—they’re built on empathy, strategy, and a culture of care. International Human Resources Management brings all of
this
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 together. I’m drawn to its complexity and global relevance—the need to support diverse teams, design inclusive practices, and adapt strategies across cultures. I want to contribute to work environments where
people
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 thrive, not just survive. Where systems are designed to help
people
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 grow—and stay. Coventry University stood out to me for its practical, innovative approach to education. The programme’s integration of real-world business challenges with employability-focused learning perfectly matches my aspiration to become a strategic,
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people-centered
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people-centred
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 HR leader. I’m especially drawn to Coventry’s strong industry links, forward-thinking curriculum, and commitment to nurturing globally minded professionals.
This
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 decision is
also
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 deeply personal. My oldest sister completed her master’s degree at Coventry, and her stories of growth—academically, personally, and socially—have stayed with me. The supportive academic environment, international friendships, and confidence she gained reassured me that
this
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 is where I belong. I’m not here to do the bare minimum. I want to help organizations build cultures that
people
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 want to be part of—not just because the job pays well, but because they feel valued, supported, and empowered to grow. At Coventry, I hope to sharpen my skills, challenge my thinking, and prepare to make a meaningful impact in the world of international work and
people
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 management.

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task achievement
Include more specific examples of the projects or programs you implemented in your previous roles. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
coherence
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs for better flow. Use linking words to connect your ideas more clearly.
coherence
Consider starting with a more personal story or anecdote to draw the reader in more effectively. This can enhance your introduction.
task achievement
You clearly explain your motivation for studying International Human Resources Management, linking it well to your past experiences and future goals.
coherence
The overall structure of your essay is strong, with clear points that relate to your suitability for the course.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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