In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

These days, companies mostly express that their product is
manufacturered
Correct your spelling
manufactured
with some new options and
this
is a common way for endorsing goods in the competitive
market
of our modern world.
This
essay will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
notion
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
explain that it can't be considered as a positive
development
. There are some reasons
which
Correct word choice
why
show examples
businesses are trying to persuade
people
that their products have some new features.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
the
development
of technology and
due to
globalisation a broad range of goods is available everywhere and
people
have access to all of them easily.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
there would be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant competition between companies which
pushs
Correct your spelling
pushes
push
them to more creativity in advertising so they are expected to have something to say in the global
market
.
For instance
, as mobile phone is a necessary digital gadget for individuals, some famous brands
such
as iPhone and Samsung add new Options to their
celephones
Correct your spelling
phones
every year and endorse
it
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them
show examples
globally to gain the most customers in
digital
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the digital
show examples
market
.
On the other hand
, nowadays,
people
are looking for the most up-to-date and the latest equipment in all markets so
this
would encourage companies to focus on new options in their publicity. In my perspective,
this
issue not only is not a beneficial
development
but
also
can have some disadvantages, as it will result in a consumer society and
people
who are spoilt for choices.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
example, if a person decides to purchase a digital gadget she/he would be overwhelmed by a huge
market
with a wide range of products which are magnified by their producers and are not reliable enough.
Therefore
, trying to make a good decision in
this
condition is nearly a fruitless exercise.
To conclude
, owing to some reason
such
as having
monopoly
Add an article
a monopoly
show examples
over
global
Correct article usage
the global
show examples
market
and satisfying consumer demands, businesses are likely to insist on advertising their latest releases and as it faces
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society with consumerism and diversity of choices cannot be
an
Change the article
a
show examples
useful
development
.
Submitted by s.hemmati.p on

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content
Task Response: The essay adequately addresses the reasons for companies emphasizing new product features and presents a clear opinion. However, the reasons could be expanded upon with more comprehensive analysis and relevant examples. The essay should also consider presenting a balanced view. Furthermore, ensure that the opinion is fully conveyed in the conclusion.
structure
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay displays a generally logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the support for main points is lacking in some areas, making the essay less cohesive. Use of transition words and phrases can enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
vocabulary
Lexical Resource: The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there is repetition and lack of variety in expressing ideas. Utilize synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary to elevate the lexical resource. Additionally, be mindful of collocations and word forms.
grammar
Grammatical Range: The essay demonstrates a reasonable control of grammar, but there are errors in sentence structure and tense usage. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence complexity to improve grammatical range.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • novelty
  • excitement
  • latest trends
  • improvements
  • advancements
  • differentiating
  • competitors
  • innovation
  • progress
  • attracting attention
  • generating curiosity
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