IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Demand for oil and gas is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity.do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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An increasing surge in natural
resources
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 like oil and gas paving the way to explore these
resources
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 in unexplored areas becoming a concern. Despite these natural
resources
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 possessing a variety of advantages, their disadvantages outshine the benefits.
Due to
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 the advancement of technology, people tend to use these minerals most frequently which
also
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 comes up with better advantages like
power
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,and fuel which are essential for today's life.
For instance
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, an Oil
Power
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 Plant can provide
million
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a million
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 megawatts of
power
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 to the masses than a renewable
power
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 plant can provide. Oil and Natural Gas are vital for cooking and transportation. Both activities mostly depend on these two major natural sources. Despite all these benefits, it always comes up with several drawbacks. Shortage of these
resources
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 on their land makes a country look for different locations. Most of the villages or untouched tribal villages happen to have these
resources
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 in abundance. These factors make the explorer evacuate their areas and sometimes completely eradicate the remote areas.
In addition
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 to it, it
also
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 causes several kinds of pollution which are hazardous not only for humans but
also
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 for other living beings. It may
also
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 lead to the extinction of some species.
Furthermore
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, there would be some disputes among countries to
captilize
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capitalise
capitalize
 these
resource
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resources
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 which would eventually end up in wars.
Finally
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, though, the natural deposits provide multiple benefits like providing electricity and being used as a fuel in cooking and transport. It is always harmful to human society by introducing new diseases and
also
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 leading to the complete disappearance of some fellow beings. The Earth is for everyone and we can't just exploit for our own selfish needs.

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Task Response
The essay lacks a clear position on whether the advantages of exploring new sources of oil and gas outweigh the disadvantages. It needs to clearly address the prompt with a balanced discussion of both sides.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, however, the logical structure of the essay could be improved for better coherence and cohesion. The essay jumps between points and lacks a cohesive flow of ideas.
Lexical Resource
The essay displays a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of overly casual language that could be improved for lexical resource. Consider using more precise and formal vocabulary throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are errors in punctuation and verb tense consistency. Work on improving the accuracy and precision of grammar to enhance the grammatical range.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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