It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages
It is essential to comprehend that taking action out of
comfort
zone is beneficial to human beings to reach new levels of Correct pronoun usage
your comfort
life
achievement including in professional and personal contexts. I personally think there are more positive chances to be exposed to those who are continuously practicing
to take risks for the greater good.
The goal of living can be very biased depending on the person's personality. That being said, the purpose Change the spelling
practising
to achieve
long-term happiness, Change preposition
of achieving
for
example
is not everyone. But that doesn't mean everyone will not try to be happy. Add the comma(s)
example,
Therefore
, the decision of taking
Change preposition
to take
new
step out of daily habit, how small or big may contribute to achieving Add an article
a new
joyful
Correct article usage
a joyful
life
, instead
of living the same way as it is every day.
Furthermore
, not every step taken to have better
Add an article
a better
life
has the chance of success. There must be ups and downs before eventually each goal can be permanently achieved. Take an example of quitting 10 years of job
for a new vacancy because many think that they are not able to be financially independent in Correct article usage
a job
present
company. The chance of getting the same treatment in the next corporation may exist, but it does not cease the possibility that the new job Correct pronoun usage
their present
also
provides the worker's needs, including the improvement of living from a financial perspective.
Overall
, in my point of view it will be much better for Fix the agreement mistake
humans
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
in general
to keep trying for new opportunities rather than staying in Add the comma(s)
, in general,
Correct article usage
the same
same
circle because even though the result may not always Correct article usage
the same
favor
the effort, Change the spelling
favour
Correct word choice
apply
but
the intention of trying new things in Correct word choice
apply
life
against all odds is enough to create the path to the life
that everyone dreams.Submitted by imsarunn on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The structure of the essay is somewhat disorganized, and the main points could be better developed and connected.
task achievement
The response addresses the task but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are not well-developed and the examples are not consistently relevant to the topic.
lexical resource
The vocabulary used is adequate, but there is room for improvement in using more precise and varied vocabulary to express ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect the clarity of the essay. More attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy is needed.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite