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Band 4

The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the prices of the fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #prices #fuel
The environmental
problem
 is always been a serious question around the world. Because the
environment
 is becoming more and more severe, the public and world leaders are more concerned about
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. In order to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental
pollution
, some
people
 point out that
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the
price
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fuel
 can be
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 effective way. I do not really agree with that.
Fuel
 is a basic daily necessity.
However
, it has a huge impact on the
environment
. Fueling burning can release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere which
strengthen
Change the verb form
strengthens
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming. In
this
 situation, some
people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that if the
price
 of
fuel
 increases,
then
 there might be
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
drive
Wrong verb form
driving
show examples
 private cars and alleviate the stress
of
Change preposition
on
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 the
environment
 since
fuel
 burning has occupied a great proportion of environmental
pollution
.
Nevertheless
,
fuel
pollution
 is not the only pollutant. Increasing the
price
 of
fuel
 cannot solve the
problem
. I think the most integral part is the awareness of the public. There are
also
 water
pollution
 and waste
pollution
 that there are too many garbages burnt in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
landfill. Many of these
are happened
Change to the active voice
happen
have happened
show examples
 because
people
 produce too
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 unnecessary waste. Alleviating the awareness of protecting
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
vital for solving the
problem
. Even though do not increase the
price
 of
fuel
,
people
 will
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
 to use public transportation to reduce carbon dioxide emissions.
Overall
,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the
price
 of
fuel
 cannot solve the environmental
problem
. As long as the public has
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 awareness of environmental protection, the stress of environmental deterioration can be eased
Submitted by 52YANGYANG on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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